No present for child

Hi everyone! Just wanted to get some opinions on something that’s been on my mind. It was my youngest son’s birthday recently and we had quite a big celebration—lots of food, drinks, and activities for both kids and adults, quite generous party bags for all children, we had entertainer, bouncy castle, etc. It was a lovely day and I’m so grateful to everyone who came and brought thoughtful gifts for him. But here’s where I’m feeling a bit thrown off… My best friend came, which I appreciated, but she only gave him a card. I don’t want to sound ungrateful or petty—it’s not about the stuff—but I can’t help feeling a bit hurt. We’re quite close, and I’ve often paid for her meals when we go out, hosted her child at ours regularly (always making sure they’re well fed and entertained), and have generally gone out of my way to be generous. She’s not someone who seems to be struggling financially, so I was surprised that she didn’t even pick up a small toy from Poundland or something from a charity shop. Even just a book or a little something, you know? I know my 1-year-old won’t remember or care, but to me it just felt a bit inconsiderate, especially given the effort we put into the day and the relationship we have. Would you feel the same in this situation? Would you bring it up, or just let it go? It’s awkward, but I genuinely don’t understand why she wouldn’t make even a small gesture. Thanks for reading—curious to hear your thoughts!

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Me personally it wouldn’t really bother me, at least she bothered come to the party and got a card x

Now this would bother me. It's not about the gift but act of giving. It's your child's first birthday. Who goes to a child's birthday without a gift? As you said she isn't financially struggling so it would have nice if she got even something small so your child can have it as a keepsake or memory. It's about respect and been thoughtful. Or has she always been someone who doesn't give gifts?

I think it would bother me if you’re really close, i can’t imagine my best friend (who my child calls auntie) not getting her anything for her birthday. But equally I don’t think i’d bring it up, maybe just monitor whats going on in regards to you paying for things and if she doesn’t pull her weight at all I would say thats worthy of a conversation? X

@pabudu No, she even asked what to get him for his birthday. She helped me "hide" pur gift and took it to our house on the day-that I fully paid for, so maybe she felt like that was a gift enough? Bringing our gift. Just very strange 😭

It would bother me, however it does sound odd that you are so close and she only got a card. Maybe she brought a gift and it's got mixed up with all the other presents as it was such a big party. X

That's really strange! As @Natasha said maybe her gift got mixed up? If not it is quite strange behaviour from a close friend.

@Natasha I went through all of them ad definitely not the case this time x

My sister recently did this for my first child's birthday and Christmas. Didn't get her anything, after I have bought for hers for the last 10 years. I learnt my lesson and won't be bothering in the future. I think you have a right to be pissed off.

@Ashleigh That's sad. I don't think I'm pissed off, just very confused. 😕

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