Should I say congrats?

To add, I've been working with her for the least amount of time of the two but it's been over a year

I wouldn’t say a thing to her. She clearly doesn’t like you and I don’t believe in supporting the haters lol!

@Jennifer it's so weird because she's nice in person, very likeable, but I feel like the signs are there that she doesn't like me from doing this

Yeah people are weird like that, they’ll never tell you but their actions will always show it. I never take it personal, that’s a her issue.

@Jennifer I'm trying not to and wasn't sure if I would be petty for not wanting to say congratulations 😓

She’s being passive aggressive by telling your friends but not you. Like she wants you to feel left out which is immature but honestly absolves you of any guilt because I would pretend I had no clue lol.

My sister had a baby and only told me because I told her that I had sent her baby a package for when it was born. Her excuse was that her first thought wasn’t to text her friends, I’m not her friend but totally valid. When the birthday comes around I don’t say anything since I honestly don’t even know when it is. The way I see it is if they wanted me involved they would’ve told me.

@Briceida That’s crazy! It’s like they just want you to beg for info. I don’t blame you for not saying anything. I have a fake cousin like that. Didn’t involve us in her pregnancy or invite to the baby shower but expected gifts and a visit. Girl byeeee. I wasn’t made aware sorry 😂

@Jennifer exactly! The crazy part is that if I didn’t send the package i dont even know when they would’ve told me about it 😂 the baby was days old at that point. I just laugh about it now lol

It’s your coworker not your friend. Maybe she has a relationship with them outside of work. Don’t take it personally but also don’t feel obligated to share your congrats either. No need to muster through. It may not even be that she doesn’t like you. Like someone else said, don’t take it personal. Those other coworkers aren’t your friends are they? It may not be a case of passive aggressive… and she has no obligation to tell you-not that she wants you to feel left out. Just presenting differing view. 🤷🏾‍♀️

You can’t congrats something you don’t know. Act oblivious even if she starts showing. It’s quite clear she has some issue with you, which is fine, you don’t have to like everyone you come across. Are you more than work colleagues? Do you see eachother outside work? If yes, be annoyed but still dont congratulate. If no, it’s kindly none of your business but still dont congratulate. However, when I was pregnant, I hid it from my colleagues that I didn’t see out of work for around 6 months although I was showing, my uniform hid it. Not because I didn’t want them to know but because it’s personal to me 😊 They didn’t take it personally, as far as I’m aware 😂

You won’t loose anything from saying congratulations 😊. She will have baby brain. If you’re not super close you won’t be on her mind (no hard feelings) but her life has just drastically changed. As for them knowing she may hang out with one/both outside of work or they could’ve messaged to check in.

@Briceida that's so sad...another situation where I may second guess my actions

@ALI you're right, I get caught up in things I shouldn't. When I leave work, I don't care much about what goes on there. One of my coworkers I talk to about everything, we are pretty close but I'm not very close to the one who just gave birth. I just think it's odd considering our team is so small. Also there's never been any bad vibes that I can tell

@Ellie no we're not friends outside of work, she's actually remote but we have virtual meetings with her once a week and I would send her emails and such. Not hearing about her pregnancy was upsetting (once again, because we're a small team) but I can understand that one a bit I guess

@Ilona you're right. I am at the point in my life now that I don't have the effort to "kill people with kindness" so to speak. I do agree with what you said though with not losing anything from saying it and just sent her a text.

I get it but it may not have any negative undertones. Especially since yall are remote.

Hm... It's possible that she has a relationship with those 2 coworkers and that's why she told them. If she doesn't have one with you it makes sense that she didn't just go up and tell you because that might be weird like "hey coworker I never talk to...I'm pregnant " 🤣 if some coworker i didn't talk to like that came up to me and shared that I'd be like congrats but in my head I'd giggle like okay that's random. So I'd not say anything unless we bumped into one another then I'd say oh hey congrats. But if there's more to it and yall do talk and she's just rude then don't worry about it. Say nothing to her.

It sounds like she just has closer relationships that may extend to friendships with the other two outside of work. I would not expect anyone to personally notify every co-worker of their child’s birth. That would actually be kind of weird. You just tell a couple people you’re close to and they spread the word lol. So I don’t see this as passive aggressive at all. If you’re friendly at work and work closely definitely reach out and say “so and so said you had your baby, congratulations!”

@C there's only 3 of us in the team so, even though we're not necessarily close, we talk here and there. I contributed to the very small baby shower we had when she came into the office, we talked about personal things when she came up as well. I think all the while it's not that deep as I'm turning it, it just tells me I don't need to do certain things thinking we are "cool." Maybe that's still petty of me 😶

@Jessica I know what you mean, when I had my child I didn't tell everyone but being that we're such a small team I thought it was strange. I may have misunderstood our relationship a bit