Question

i feel like you are so kind and genuine woman. thank good women like you still exists 🫶

You’re not wrong for feeling uncomfortable. He lied, betrayed your trust, and now wants daily access to you while still married and barely supporting your child. Set the boundary: tell him to only message about visits or urgent things related to your son. You’ve already been more respectful than he deserves. You didn’t ruin anything he did. You’re protecting your peace and your baby, and that’s what matters. Don’t let guilt or manipulation convince you otherwise. You’re doing the right thing by focusing on your healing and setting limits. Stay strong

I get where you’re coming from, but why on earth should he be allowed to get away with this? His wife deserves to know the kind of man she’s married to. If it were me, I’d absolutely want to know he had fathered a child. This isn’t some fleeting fling that’s come and gone—there are real lives involved here. He’s a lying coward, and the truth needs to come out. Period.

@Ashleigh you’re totally right it’s because he’s made threats to me when I once threatened to tell his wife then goes to say I made a move on him like I was some H*. He wanted ro guilt trip me and didn’t take accountability for his lies

To be honest, If I was his wife, I would and have all the right to know that my husband cheated on me and has another child. I do understand that you don’t want drama, just peace for you and your son and it’s not your fault for how things turned out as you didn’t know he is married but I still think his wife should know.

Do you have messages from when you started dating? Keep everything you can and show his wife!

Like ... how??

@Ashleigh yes I do I even proved to him as well if I do tell his wife I don’t know know what this man can be capable of

No communication unless it’s about the baby is how I’d deal with it if I was in that situation

I would sincerely rather a lying man tell his wife I’m a hoe but at least she knows her husband is a hoe too than keep a whole precious baby hidden from her. I think she deserves to know no matter what and will appreciate it later on down the line if not immediately. At least you will have a clear conscience, you know the truth and you owe no one an explanation because you were manipulated and at least your baby won’t grow up with a weird energy and secrecy around him 🩵🩵🩵🩵 lots of love mama

@Olivia thank you so much girl it’s super hard I don’t wish this stress on my worst enemy! I definitely don’t regret my sweet baby boy! But the thing is when I mentioned -threats he said “watch what I’d do to you, you’ll cry later.” This was When I made threats about telling his wife. This could be a dangerous outcome for me and my son. I don’t even leave the room when he’s with my child. I wish I could just never let him see his son again but he makes me feel like an evil person, he even cries and has made threats to take his life. I don’t know what he’s capable of! His wife can also resent my child as someone who has no kids yet by him so the situation is tough! I don’t know how any woman can entertain a married man knowingly this is sick behaviour on both sides!

Did i write this post 😳

@Dez are you in the same situation?

If he was gonna do something he would have done it already, also I know it’s a tough call if his wife doesn’t have children but hey, you didn’t know about her and maybe he just wanted a child and yeh it’s disgusting that he used you but he won’t harm his only child or you. The wife might actually be glad and want to get involved in your child’s life too as crazy as that sounds. If you’re worried about visits you can go through the courts and even ask for them to be third party supervised. But your baby deserves the world and also to be brought up in truth. It’s super stressful now, but it will pass xo

Yep same situation. My son will be 2 yrs old in June.

Well maybe almost the same.. i kept on confronting my ex whether he is married before and until I learned I was pregnant and he keeps on denying it. Long story but I confirmed it that he is indeed married and have two other kids.

@Dez that’s super sad sorry you’re going through that

You’re not wrong for feeling uncomfortable. But it’s always in the best interest of the child not you. That’s why it’s important to actually get to know people before bring your children into this world because I have a hard time understanding how you wouldn’t have known he was married if you dated. Rather he lied or not.