Today has sucked

The weather has really been bringing me down, I'm 33 weeks pregnant and it feels like there's no end in sight, my toddlers fight everything like it's their job, I woke up today depressed and have been disassociating all day. All I've wanted to do and sleep and cry. I feel hollow today. I have to do bedtime by myself tonight because my husband has to do some overnight thing for work, I get the worst nighttime anxiety especially being alone so I'm probably not going to sleep 😩 I'm so sick of the snow, rain, and the clouds. I want the sun. I want to have this dang baby already. I just want a damn break from being a mom that I know I'll never get. I'm tired.