in November 2022 Babies 🇺🇸

Postpartum rage?

I'm not sure exactly how to know if I actually have postpartum rage. I've never really talked to anybody that's had it before so I don't know how extreme or mild it can be. Along with my two-year-old son I now have a 3-month-old daughter and I find myself getting so angry not necessarily at them just at the situation that I feel I'm put in. Most of the time it occurs after nap time. I am breastfeeding and that's something I wasn't able to do with my son so it's a new experience for me and it can be time consuming but definitely not as much as it was when she was teeny tiny. Things are better but not necessarily easier than when she was first born. She eats a little less frequently but her wake windows are longer and she's not the best snapper. My son is only taking his nap half the time now and it just seems like when I'm really needing to get things done and wanting her to take a nap is when he's the most loud and crazy running around the house just being a two-year-old. I've never minded it until now and I know it's because he continuously wakes her up from her naps and I just feel myself getting enraged and wanting to throw things (never thoughts of harming my children. Just want to throw that out there.) My son has never really been a bad kid. He doesn't really throw tantrum... Yet LOL they might be coming and he's never really been sneaky or a troublemaker. He doesn't necessarily mess with things that he's not supposed to so I've never had reasons to be upset at him or talk to him in a harsh way and I find myself doing that now. And hearing my baby cry just gets me more and more angry because I know that she's tired and wants to sleep but can't because my son is just playing very loudly and I don't know how to teach him to calm down he thinks that everything I say is funny. Needless to say I love them more than anything and again would never harm them but I don't know if I should see someone about this. I also don't know if taking medication would affect my supply and being able to breastfeed my daughter so there's that also. Picture of my babies so we don't get lost. 🩵🩷

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I have 2 under 2 and a lot of similar things happen. Constant talking, whining etc it’s very overstimulating. I bought some box fans for each of my kids rooms so that when they are taking their naps they can’t hear much of what’s going on in the other rooms. It has helped a lot. As for my sanity if I feel like I’m being worn thin or overstimulated from the nagging I’ll put my head phones in lol.

In my head I know that my children aren't doing anything wrong. I just want silence. There is never a real moment of silence anymore 😭

@Andrea I do have noise machines in both rooms and it does help some. I've never tried putting headphones in lol

The first few months of having 2 kids is rough. It's too much responsibility and not enough support. It's probably why a lot of kids start preschool around this age (to give mom a much needed break and to focus on the new baby). Sure, it happens around the postpartum time, but I just moved, and I'm right back to that place. Having to unpack boxes and set up new systems and all the disorganization on top of regular childcare and housework just sets me over the top. It does get better, but it takes time. ❤️

I’m glad you are open and honest about this- it’s the only way we can lean on each other and help one another! I would get really frustrated and angry when I was breastfeeding at the beginning (I only have one child) and it made me feel ashamed that I couldn’t control my frustration more. I think it’s very normal to be overstimulated by having a newborn and a toddler! My toddler is very loud too and I can’t imagine having a baby on top of it. Headphones/ear buds are a great idea and maybe try wearing your baby in a baby wrap when you can? She might sleep better and be less bothered by the noises if she is attached to you. Be kind to yourself- you’re doing a great job!! Your body is going through so many changes and it’s unfair that there is an expectation that moms should have it all together and under control. Do you have any mom support groups in your area? 💕

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