Mil

After going no contact for many months due to several reasons, my MIL texted my son wanting to come back into our lives. Conveniently, she texted after the birth of my son, even though she disappeared during the whole pregnancy. Her text was a lot to process. It was a long text stating everything she’s done for my husband, from raising him to helping him get his first job to support his family. And how all she asks for is to be respected. Then there was a small apology at the end of it, but she never brought up the things she did or what she’s even apologizing for. I feel weird about letting her in again. Especially because she knew about my due date and never reached out. I feel like she’s only reaching out now because she wants to meet the baby. But she disappeared for months. She also made my life a living hell with my first son so I’m hesitant to bring her in for my second. Thoughts?

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I wouldn’t do it. We went no contact almost 2 years ago now and my MIL still claims she did nothing wrong and has said absolutely horrible things about me (there’s a ton but my husband will never forgive her for saying she’ll pay him to divorce me) and she’s trying extra hard right now to come back in our lives because we just had a baby (through text, mail, and email) but is trying to make it about God and Easter but still no apologies or any admission of anything she’s done

Sounds like a trap. I wouldn't do it.

Don’t do it! That’s not an apology. I believe apologies should be done in person. She should’ve reached out to the parents not your son. My MIL did the exact same thing, only apologized to my husband and still doesn’t believe she did nothing wrong. We’ve set up so many boundaries cause she’s a narcissist person to the point that I know she would try to put our kids against us (the parents)

Sounds like she hasn’t learnt her lesson and will continue the same behaviour as before.

Don’t let her back in. She is trying to convince your son that she’s done a lot of ‘good things’ the apology is fake, if she meant it she would have come around and said it herself and not through your son.

I honestly wouldn’t do it, it sounds like she’s trying to manipulate her way back, not taking any responsibility, it reads narcissistic to me! And if she pushed boundaries in the past she’ll definitely do it again, and that’s something you don’t want on your family, im currently dealing with that from all my family members, and if I could I wouldn’t have any of them around my son but I don’t have a choice right now

The “good things” she’s done for your husband - aka her son, are things that you should do for your children, without wanting recognition or a medal. Raising him? Helping him get jobs? And she honestly expects this to justify her behaviour and to get a free pass back in?

I am going through this exact thing now so understand your frustration completely. It's your child, so despite what others think, it's your choice & your boundary. Also I'm a firm believer that if you didn't care about me during pregnancy and you suddenly pop up now, I'm merely a vehicle for your grandchild, so no, not going to prioritise at their expense. I hope it gets better for you. Shoot me a message if u need to vent at all. 💛

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