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Hi! Just wanted to share that how you feel is totally okay. I just saw this girl post something basically saying the newborn trenches are not the trenches and it’s the best time of her life.. I realized everybody’s experience and perspective is very different. My daughter is just going on 3 months, and it wasn’t until more recently I have fully been loving motherhood. The first few weeks were very hard. Like you said, I love my daughter and loved her when I first met her… but also she was a stranger lol. And my life felt like it was completely changed for this little human that just cried all the time lol! I cried and mourned also in the beginning. But everyday things have gotten easier.. I know her and she knows me. She smiles at me and it’s just so special. I say that to say, I didn’t feel all those special/sentimental feelings in the beginning — it just felt hard and overwhelming. And that’s perfectly okay to feel like that. Praying for you in this new season — it will get better!
I have 5 kids. I faintly remember this “doom” feeling with my first. Once you get the hang of it you’re good. I have 2 in diapers (one of the 2 is in panties and has been all week so we’re proud) but now I just kind of do what needs to be done without even giving it thought. It’s just my routine now.
I feel this 120%! I hated the newborn stage, especially with my daughter because she was colicky for the first 4-5 months of life & had silent reflux that made it take forever for her to finish a bottle. I didn’t really bond with her for a couple years. We only really developed a bond when she turned 2.5 years old. My PPD was also way worse after her & I had to go on medication for 6 months. I never wanted to have kids really, until I met my husband. I had to take care of my disabled mother from the time she became disabled when I was 13, to when she died when I was 27. I didn’t wanna take care of anybody else other than me, but I went for it anyway. I do miss my life before kids as well, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. This season of life is rough, but it does get better. Hang in there & maybe talk to your doctor about PPD.
I’m a mother of four and I can’t wait till my kids are old enough for me to leave them at home together so I can get a break. It’s not easy. Nothing is easy about it. I’m sorry you’re struggling. Prozac helps me a lot! I’ve been on it for years and it’s the only way I’m able to function. Also, scheduling things like massages, getting my hair done and other forms of self care… the important part is scheduling it. Even paying ahead of time so you feel pressured to go…. But all that when your baby is a little older. Give yourself time. Your body is still recovering. You’re probably not sleeping well… all that comes into play with your mental health.
You become a mother overnight, but that doesn’t mean your brain, hormones and habits change overnight! It takes time to adjust and this feeling is completely normal. You’re mourning your old life. It’s ok to do that! It’s just a phase of life and it will pass, I remind myself that when things are extra hard, it’s always true. You blink and she’ll be running around the house and talking. Like someone said, you always miss the phase you’re not in. Take it as easy as possible! Binge watch tv while you hold baby, nap when you can, eat any food that’s convenient and delicious, take photos of baby… this phase will be over in just a few months. This too shall pass💞
Sending hugs. I wish I could say it gets easier, and it does in some way, but the challenges just become different. You miss each phase you're no longer in. Be kind to yourself. Even women who've dreamt of being moms experience this. Also your body and hormones have no regulated or return to pre pregnancy, so it's working hard to get back to who you are too.