What do you do when your partner has a completely different sex style then you? Is this a deal breaker? What would you do?

A discussion with him about what he would feel comfortable with. My partner is down for anything whereas I’m not as comfortable but what he does is researches things and then shares that information with me so I’m a little more educated and that way it’s not completely in the dark for me. He also takes a gentle approach, doesn’t force me into anything and just makes suggestions and we have conversations about what it could be like and what my concerns are etc. Xx

Honestly I've been with the same guy for almost 10 years and it has been awesome and a struggle bus the sex is not as big of a deal as is he willing to communicate with you is he willing to talk things out without getting defensive and angry if he can't talk no amount of good sex bad sex in between sex will fix it be sure you're sleeping with an emotionally intelligent human because exploring is only fun if you're both into pleasing each other if life is all about him a decade or more of that is way too long

If a middle ground can't be reached, it'd be a deal breaker for me personally. There's lots of ways to explore and compromise, but life is too short for a bad sex life

everyone has their own limits and boundaries but if my partner is unwilling to try *anything* new with me then that'd be a turn off and dealbreaker for me

Also it’s not that it’s bad sex it’s not but it’s just boring

It’s something that you can work towards if he is open to thinking about it. It would need to be a slow introduction but it is possible. You would have to decide if he is unable or unwilling to try are you willing to have that as a deal breaker

Communicate

Sex therapy is a real thing, you should look into it. You may even be able to do it remotely.

There might be other ways to bridge the gap for y'all. Check out some erotica together. Maybe some porn. He might not want to get as freaky and kinky as you, but would he do some dirty talking to make his two positions of choice more exciting for you? If he's intimidated by the idea of choking you, would you be happy if he just placed his hand on your neck instead? Foreplay outside the bedroom can also help spice things up. Flirt and tease each other, treat each other like your relationship is new and exciting. Toys can also be a great addition, and there's a ton of variety to choose from. Use them together, or put on a show for him solo with some accessories to see if that's exciting for y'all. Sex is as much mental as it is physical, especially when it comes to kink. So maybe finding ways to enhance the mental side of things will help make the physical side less boring.

Maybe show him some basic yet different positions that will gradually help him feel comfortable.

Maybe sit down together and make a list of sex acts you’re both interested in and see what overlaps. So you both make a list of things you want, things you’re okay trying, and things you absolutely won’t do and then compare.

@Victoria~ there are websites that do this! I think one was called mojo upgrade. It only shows what both parties are interested in, which can make it easier to be vulnerable and share

Do you guys talk about sex at all? Does he know you like these things? What is his reasoning for not wanting to explore? It would be a dealbreaker for me if I felt like my partner was in no way interested in satisfying me sexually. It can't just be about what he wants. And if you can't even talk about these things then it is never going to change

How did you end up getting married to this guy if you're SO different in this department?!