Falling asleep
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It’s most likely the wake windows are too long! Usually sleep fighting like this is due to overtiredness. I know a lot of references say 1.5-2 hours for 2-3 months but actually a lot of babies might be 45-60mins. My 8 week old is around this. Also the wake window should end with them asleep so you wouldn’t wait to the end of the wake window to settle them, it would be 15-20ish mins before so you have time to calmly change, wind down, swaddle etc. It can be hard to fit everything in because wake windows are so short. With my first she was a total fomo baby and sleep fighter too and sleep was so tough! But I think looking back I was following too long of a wake window. She was so alert and basically didn’t show cues and it was really tough to figure out. But even at 10 months, her morning wake window was only 2ish hours long (they starts short and get longer as the day goes on) so 1.5-2 hours for 10 weeks is too long. Cont.
This baby is of course a different baby but I’ve been way more mindful about watching for that first yawn or sign even if it feels too short and follow the shorter wake windows and it seems to of made a difference. Not every time and it can be hard with a toddler to always catch it but when I have for timed well, he can actually go to sleep and stay asleep for a while which blows my mind. But it’s the complete opposite if he has gotten overtired. Not used a dummy either. He does suffer from bad wind too and that can cause an issue. But no way would he just go to sleep, he needs to be put in the right environment first and then it’s still 50/50. I would try settling at 60mins or if you see a yawn between 45-60mins start the process then and see what difference you find. A lot of babies still need rocking/support to sleep especially at this age but you should have less screaming, that’s definitely pointing to overtired. Hope that helps!
Thank you both! One more question @Lauren. We are closing the blinds, setting the room for sleep everytime. But what else do you do? I know they still need support like rocking to fall asleep, but do you do it everytime? Or do you just place them and pat them? Or something like that? I am trying to figure out what others do, so i can try as many options as possible, as rocking was the only thing we knew. Sometimes we just lie him next to us as talk to him so he can fall back asleep, but it doesn’t always work. Was thinking of getting a Rockit for his next to me cot. I know every baby is different but i feel it shouldn’t be this hard, we must be doing something wrong. Will definitely try the smaller wake window.
As a second time mum my advice would be to ignore wake windows and follow babies sleepy cues instead. Some babies have longer wake windows and some have shorter, it's not all text book. So just observe them and when they start to show signs of being sleepy then you'll have more success. And rocking baby to sleep at this age is normal, when they get a little bigger they can start to fall asleep independently but not until 6 months minimum Id say. I waited till mine was 8 months old and he transitioned really well from co-sleeping to falling asleep in his room on his own in a few weeks, but I've always followed his cues on everything and he eats and sleeps really well. Of course you don't need to listen to it but that's my advice. Good luck x
I actually found if I bath my eldest at night it seems to stimulate her and there’s no chance of her going to sleep. I used to have a projector with stars and I’d lay on the bed next to her and she would eventually fall asleep watching them and sleep around 9 hours at this age. My youngest if I bath at night she’s asleep 15 minutes later but then she will wake up again after 4 hours. I think it really all just depends on the baby however I do keep telling myself this isn’t forever and one day I’ll miss these days 😅
Do you have a ssh ing machine first off? We do and it’s great! So you don’t have to do it. Our 10 week old will nap for 2/3 hours in his pram, at home he will do much shorter ones and only on us now (he used to like Moses basket or nest but not now). Could you do some naps outside? I even put him in our garden in his pram this afternoon as he was driving me mad keep waking up x x
I don’t have one, I didn’t know they exist, we tried white/pink and all the colours of the rainbow sounds, but don’t work. Will look into this machine. He used to love sleeping outside in his pram, but not anymore. I go for daily walks, for hours and he would be wide awake most time, also crying to be held..i am not giving up on this tho, will still continue daily. I tried the carrier as well, still very short naps xx
Sounds like your LO is overtired. I was exactly the same a few weeks ago. My LO would fight every single nap and I was losing it! He is 8 weeks now and as soon as I see the first yawn I am starting the process of putting him down. His current wake windows are anything between 30 minutes to 1.5 max. The last wake window in the evening can be a bit longer, up to 3 h. If we miss the last nap. I try one nap in a crib ( usually lasts about 10-15 minutes) one in a pram (usually around 30-45 minutes) one on a boobie (anything between 1 hour to 3.5 h 😅) I also use baby carrier and it seems to work well too. We also introduced a dummy which helps with settling him for a nap. He doesn't always use it, but it's there in case we need it. Babies at this age just love to be close to you. At the beginning I was very frustrated and even angry, now I embraced it and started following my baby and everything seems so much easier. Just embrace it and enjoy this time as it doesn't last that long...😊 x
I could have written your post myself when mine was 10 weeks! She’s only 16 now and while we are still assisting her heavily to sleep, I’m now at peace with knowing it’s totally normal and just a temperament thing. Some babies just don’t fall asleep spontaneously and that’s okay! I used to hear about peoples newborns falling asleep in the pram and wonder how - mine would never! Avoiding overtiredness is important and In my experience, mine shouts at me if we try to get her to sleep too early as well. So if I think it may be that, I wait 15 mins and try again and sometimes that helps. In terms of the how, we use my old birthing ball and its SO much easier physically than rocking. A gentle bounce and shush is often all it needs then we can be a bit more vigorous if she’s upset. I also do a carrier nap most days as this seems to be the only time she’ll just nodd off. I guess it’s the rocking movement, contact and also maybe she doesn’t realise my intention is for her to sleep 😅
My LO still only contact naps at 6 months old and fights every nap with screaming. I found it better to not watch the clock or worry about set wake windows but just watch for her sleepy cues and as soon as she rubbed her eyes or looked a bit dazed it was nap time. It reduced the fighting to a couple of minutes instead of 30mins to an hour. Also try feeding before the bath, it might not make a difference but it did with us. Please don’t compare your baby to your friends. All babies are different, some are good sleepers and some aren’t.