No Sex

Things will come back to normal when you stop breastfeeding

I’m not breastfeeding 😔

If he is allowed to say no so are you

I just want to say I really relate to this. During my pregnancy, my husband was terrified of having sex—he was so worried it might hurt the baby, or he just couldn’t get past the mental image of our daughter being there. He got so in his own head that it completely shut down his sex drive for a while. It was frustrating at times because I had a pretty high sex drive during pregnancy, but I tried to understand where he was coming from. After I gave birth, things didn’t immediately bounce back either. I ended up making him wait 16 weeks because I was so anxious about sex. Every time he touched me I’d feel this wave of nausea or just a strong nope from my whole body. It felt like my brain had switched into full “mom mode,” and intimacy just felt wrong. The good news is that with time, open conversations, and patience (which he had a lot of, thankfully), things slowly got back to normal. (1/2)

I think hormones and physical recovery are a huge part of it, but so is feeling emotionally safe and supported after such a big life shift. So yes, that feeling can go away—but don’t force it. Give yourself space to heal emotionally as well as physically. Talk it through when you’re ready. You’re definitely not alone in this.(2/2)

I was like that after and once I got the okay I told my husband to take it slow I was honest with him. I told him my sex drive did not exist that my hormones are all over the place. We did little things when we were in the shower. We just kept growing from there then everything came back eventually.

I can relate. My husband did not want to have sex when I was pregnant because he thought my symptoms would go to him (some weird Dominican wives tale). After birth, I really don't want to have sex. We only have twice when son was a newborn. I went 8 months so far without having sex. We just literally 2 weeks ago did a little something, but I wasn't into it.

Why was he saying no

We limit how much sex we have because I ended up hurting myself and bleeding but that's all for us. I find I'm constantly desperate but my husband is worried that I'll hurt myself again

As sad as it can be a lot of men don’t like pregnancy sex they get creeped out for whatever reason. I wouldn’t take it too personal although i definitely understand your feelings

Just be honest with him about your feelings.

@Renae some men are scared to have sex when a woman is pregnant scared of hurting anyone.

1/2 Some context; I’ve communicated with my husband the entire time how I was feeling about essentially not doing anything intimate. I forgot to mention that sex went out the window but so did dates, kissing, hugging, etc. It felt like we were practically roommates that coparent our other children for months. A little background also: most of my communication was how my mental health was going to sh*t about the whole thing. It was really triggering my ptsd and anxiety since with my first child (before husband so not the dad) I was in such a physically & emotionally abusive relationship. That ex my entire pregnancy withheld intimacy as punishment. Told me I was “disgusting”, “untouchable”, “ugly”, “undesirable”, etc my entire pregnancy. So now with my husband when he withheld all those feelings have come back. I’ve communicated with him multiple times I desperately need that reassurance some way somehow and he would deny it.

2/2 So here we are post pregnancy and he’s wants to be more again. Since he’s not afraid he’s going to “poke the baby” having sex, but I resent him and still feel so crappy about myself. I don’t know how to communicate any more than I have the entire pregnancy..

I felt like I didn't want to have sex for a little while after having my baby but it goes away, I can't remember how long it took but if I have to guess probably like a little over a month or 2

Yeah, it’s normal. Your body has just been through a great trauma, it’ll return in time.

@Susie that was the same for us. Found out at 4 weeks and that was it 😂 i think i would have been ok until i felt her kicking and then i think id sure wriggled while we were doing things it would have been game over for me too 😂