Sd mom suddenly has an issue with what my SD calls me

Not quite sure how to approach the situation, but i got a text from my sd mom saying she's no longer comfortable with my sd calling me mommy and has asked i correct her to my first name or some other nickname, when she's been fine with it for the past two years. A little background, I came into my sd life when she had just turned 2, and will be 4 next month. We also have her the majority of the time. I never once prompted her or forced her to call me mom, she started out calling me by my first name then put mommy behind it and now just calls me mommy. I have two other daughters 9 months younger than her who both call me mommy, and a new baby coming next month who will also obviously call me mommy. The bm verbalized she was okay with her calling me mommy before and now wants to take it back and I feel like that's unfair for my daughter. She spends most of her time at my house, and has been under the understanding that calling me mommy has been okay. She's extremely smart, she knows im not the mother who birthed her, she knows exactly who i am and who her biological mom is. She's almost 4 but she's got the brains of a 6 year old. When it's "our week", my husband and I have her S, T, Th, F, and Sat. On our "off week" we still have her T, Thursday, Friday, and Sat until about 6pm. So she's with us literally 80% of the time. I'll also mention her boyfriend who she told us she was going to marry broke up with her last week so I'm assuming this has a lot to do with insecurity and her feeling threatened by me.

Show your support

I think be honest. I am not here to step on any toes. Childs feelings come before mine and before yours. Child is comfortable calling me mommy and has been for 2 years. Without any force from me or dad. Child may feel less than other children who call you mom, confused why she has to be separate, and even hurt if you don’t let her call you mommy.

Yeeah. I would just ignore her on the situation. If she's already given that consent and the daughter has been calling you that for a while now its gonna be more upsetting to the daughter if you start suddenly telling her to stop calling you that. Especially since other kids are involved and call you mom. And since you guys have her 80% of the time like, no. I'd just shoulder it off and not even worry about it. Let the child keep calling you what she wants. She's old enough to know your not her bio mom but she does realize she does have 2 mommies.

If she was uncomfortable she should have said something at the very beginning, but she said it was fine… I think it would definitely confuse your SD on why she can’t call you mommy anymore especially since she has siblings who call you mommy.

If she’s uncomfortable, tell her she can say something to her own daughter. If it were me, I wouldn’t be “correcting” SD and having her make a change 2 years in.

Fuck her

I think you have a sound head on your shoulders. It would be wrong to “reprimand” or correct your daughter. She obviously feels loved and comfortable in your care and correcting her would be confusing for her.

Sounds like the baby mama is insecure and that’s her problem, she’s thinking about herself not the child. The child comes first and it sounds like ur step daughter has been comfortable calling you mom. There’s no harm being done, no bad mouthing of the other parents or partners involved. There’s other children involved too and there’s no reason to have rules for one child but not the other and confusing all of them because an adult all of sudden is getting their feelings hurt. Don’t let her come between you and ur step daughter, ur doing what any good person would do and children don’t need to be dragged along because an adult who wants to be petty

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