Mother’s Day gift or no?

I struggle w it to every year bc she wasn’t and still isn’t the best mother but I still buy the gift. Something small

My sisters usually want to go in together on something. But apparently we all had a very different experience with her growing up. She sent me away to a different continent for disagreeing with her on religious guidelines such as music and clothes. She also completely blew me off anytime I told her my father was making me uncomfortable with his touching, kissing, and comments on my body. My sisters think that he’s just a weirdo and that just how he shows love because he’s a porn addict. But I personally know different from experience.

I think the struggle stems from the obligation and guilt that others place on us. Whether the pressure comes from parents, siblings, extended family members, or complete strangers. You are not obligated to pay homage or provide gifts for someone who hurt you. You do not have to be considerate when you have not been considered. Their title to you, does not entitle them to you. I love my mother deeply. But sometimes love isn’t enough, and our relationship never got better. I finally went no contact with my mom after years of fighting for a relationship she didn’t want. I’m still mourning the woman I could have been if I had the courage to walk away sooner. But I’m excited for the woman I’m going to be now that I’m finally letting go. When someone wants you to be the villain in their story, there is no amount of atonment that will ever make them let go of the animosity and resentment they harbor. Don’t text, don’t call, and don’t send a gift. Sending lots of love your way. 🫂💛

@Jorgie-Anne are you a therapist? You have a wonderful way with words! Thank you this is helpful! Wishing you well on your journey of healing as well!

Thank you for your sweet words, I’m truly flattered. I’m not currently a therapist, but I did go to university for psychology. I empathize deeply because my familial struggles are very similar to yours. (Emotional, Mental, and sometimes physical abuse) If you ever need to vent to someone who just gets it, feel free to PM anytime. I just want you to know that your feelings are completely valid, and you are not overreacting.

@Jorgie-Anne thank you! I will take you up on that!

Being with my child on the special day is gift enough.