We can't swaddle anymore, now baby can't sleep

My 3.5 month old was doing SO well with sleeping - 6 to 8 hours straight at night. The doctor told us at 2 months that as soon as he shows signs of rolling, to stop swaddling him so he doesn't suffocate. We have been doing one arm out to try to prepare him for the change. Well, yesterday he rolled from his back to his front for the first time. So we had to keep both arms out of his swaddle for the first time. He screamed all night. The only way I could get him to sleep was to rub his belly and gently hold an arm down to help with his startle reflex. But as soon as I would get back in bed, his reflex would wake him up and he'd start screaming again. My husband wants to let him cry it out, but I can only take so much. He cried for 3 hours straight last night before we got any type of break. He has scratches on his face this morning, and I feel like a terrible mom. Any advice?
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There are transitional swaddles that you can use that has both arms out. I use those for my son who’s 3.5 months.

Try the zipadee zip it is safe once they start rolling. My daughter was the same. Her sleep wasn't the same with it but it was better than without it and after like a week she adjusted. My son hasn't started rolling yet but that's my plan once he does. My daughter used the zipadee zip till she was like 2 lol

Isn't the dream suit for just this? We used it will our first and this guy loves a swaddle so once he gets to that point we will most likely do the same. I just can't remember the age of the sleep suit.

Use magic Merlin’s sleep suit

@Chloe yes! That's the one!

@Cassidy I don’t think the love to dream swaddle is safe once they roll. First you use their “step 1” which is a swaddle. Then, when they show signs of rolling, you switch to their “step 2” which lets you zip the arms off for safety but also a smooth transition. Then you can use their “step 3” sleep suit which has the swaddle feel, but their arms aren’t in a restricted position, just like a long sleeve type of thing. Unless you’re talking about a different thing, in that case sorry!!

@Layla yeah, I'm talking about Merlin's sleep suit. @Chloe mentioned it. I just couldn't remember the name. My guy is in a zip one that has velcro so his arms can be in or out but once he starts moving more he's going right into that suit, lol

@Cassidy my bad! I saw the mention like right after I posted it haha. I should look into that, we’ve started just using a sleep sack since he’s been rolling. But every baby is different with that stuff. He definitely sleeps better when he’s nice and snug though

@Layla yes, mine do too! They like feeling like they are back in the womb. 💗

Ok, so, I'm not judging you at all here! I sleep trained my first, so I'm not afraid to let a baby cry if needed. That said: I think our January babies are a little too young to let cry that long. There's a disagreement in research about when babies can learn to self soothe, but none of them show it before 4 months (16 weeks) from due date. Around 3 months is a sleep regression due to growth spurt and/or a development leap. It sounds like baby is struggling with sleep because of that and the loss of the swaddle. We inadvertently did this exact same thing with our first kid. It was a tough 2 weeks, but we made it through by alternating shifts at night so that we could get SOME sleep. My son needed to be soothed every 30-60 min to get through the night. I think my husband just stayed awake and held him when I was sleeping. This too shall pass! You can do it!

@Kyla Thank you. I was up at 1am googling "is it dangerous to let my 3 month old cry for too long" and I couldn't get a straight answer. At first, I was picking him up, getting him back to sleep, and as soon as I'd transfer him back to his bassinet, he'd start crying again. So then we let him cry on his own. He'd start sucking his hands to self soothe, so we'd think "okay let him do it himself, don't touch him", but it never fully worked. Then I was reaching into his bassinet and rubbing his belly, holding his hand, gently talking to him, etc to try to soothe him without picking him up. This is all that went on for 3 hours until he fell asleep for more than a few minutes. Hopefully my husband and I can figure out a good system like you guys did. We tried his method last night, but my heart can't take another night like that. I'll be picking up my baby boy for a while longer. Thank you for the encouragement!

Ugh I’m so sorry. We have an early roller…he started rolling at 3 months and not being able to swaddle him was awful. We do the Merlin magic sleep suit as it seems to tamper down the startle reflex and we also have the owlet sock on him just for peace of mind. Who knows what that baby is doing in the bassinet next to me 😭🫠🤪 So active. So strong. You aren’t alone and sorry this transition sucks so much.

We've been using transitional swaddles on my 13-week-old since he was 4 weeks old. He absolutely loves them. Definitely sleeps better with something than he does without.

I love the Woolino 4 season sleep sack - expensive but lasts until 2 years old! It’s weighty so they feel secure and made our transition easy. The other ones like Merlin or actual weighted ones aren’t recommended as could potentially be harmful for baby.

@Tricia thank you for the recommendation! I just ordered one!

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@Kaitlyn thank you for being so kind. that owlet sock is the best purchase I've ever made. Somehow he ends up against the side of his bassinet every morning (not even rolling there, just.. wriggling?).. thank God it's made of mesh. These crazy strong boys are already keeping us on our toes

(1) Try using a transitional sleep product like a sleep sack with gently weighted arms or snug fit (like the Zipadee-Zip or Merlin’s Magic Sleepsuit), which can provide a sense of security without restricting movement. (2) Make sure there nails are trimmed and consider using soft baby mittens at night to prevent scratching.

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