What to stay instead of ‘don’t cry’
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@Katie oooo I like ‘how can mummy help’ I’ll defo be using that. I often say ‘use your words’ but he doesn’t really respond to that unless I start listing things. Thanks x
If it’s whinging alone (not coupled with crying) saying “please use your normal voice” is quite effective or “sorry I can’t understand what you said”. When crying, particularly about “silly” things I typically offer a cuddle and go with distraction. Or “try and tell me calmly what I can do to help”. This does sometimes lead to her saying “I do need to be sad” or “I do need to cry” in which case I explain of course it’s ok to be sad or to cry, but I can’t help if you tell me what’s wrong while whinging. It’s tough because I really want to validate all her emotions and help her through them, but at the same time I need to teach her resilience and that it doesn’t help to cry about everything. Xx
I usually say “now why are we crying how can mum help” or when I’m frustrated with patience coming thin I sometimes do say “ instead of crying use your words to tell me your feelings” it’s a bit blunt but usually right after I get the reason x