???

It doesn’t “work” it just makes your toddler not trust you or feel comfortable showing emotion around you… no it’s not a Canadian thing. This way of thinking is literally insane. I would tell her, in the nicest way possible, that she needs to butt out.

@Lauren actually tho, even now my husband has a hard time expressing his feelings and keeps things bottled up to not upset anyone…it’s like I’ve seen your work, I’m not a huge fan of what you did

Well, if you understand manipulation as deliberate tactics to influence or control others, yes children are good manipulators but they are not MALICIOUS manipulators in that they don’t understand the complex emotional and psychological effects of it However, children can and will repeat behaviors that are effective in getting what they want and they even learn to fake it and “perform” in order to get what they want. And as a parent if you don’t recognize the signs… it actually can lead to worse manipulative behaviors overtime even as early as 6. You can give attention to a crying child without giving them what they want. You also do not need to give them attention the entire time they are crying. If my son cries because I say no, I might give him a hug but then I move on. I’ll teach coping skills etc and remind him what he can do to self regulate because that is also extremely important to healthy childhood development is SELF regulation which must be taught

😅😅😅😅please ignore that old generation, aren't those the one that begged us to have babies, and now they never babysit or help us? 😎

@Leyla clock it🤏🏽🤏🏽🤏🏽

Manipulative is a strong word maybe, but if you’re so little that you can’t get what you want by might, then you have to be cunning. And yes, they start with that at a very young age. It’s not even a bad thing, but you do need to be aware of it as a parent.

I mean she might be sending it from a good place so you could definitely take it if you want to and try. She might be just saying it because she knows from experience. Kids can gaslight you basically. Cry when they don’t actually need to be crying. Just to get what they want. So it is a real thing. And you can take this as she’s just trying to be helpful. Or say no thanks. Even if she’s trying to be rude or tell you something you need to do. I’d be the bigger person and say no thanks we don’t need that book and leave it there. Don’t be rude about it back

@Janis oo I like how you said this. Thank you!

@Gabrielle Exactly. Also as many problems as the older generations have….honestly I see far more problems in this current upcoming generation (gen z-alpha) than in mine. (Millenial) So maybe we shouldn’t throw the baby out with the bath water. You can read a book and take away good points and it’s okay to disagree with some if it’s not the exact way you want to discipline.

Just for anyone who doesn’t actually know what 123 magic is, and automatically assumes it’s a great strategy, it’s the old school method of counting to 3 when kids are doing “undesirable” behaviours, then isolating them in their room or time out as a discipline method. Maybe this is the route some want to take, but a lot of other data shows that isolation is not a good strategy for children doing what you want, and in my opinion, isn’t that just a form of US manipulating THEM, by not talking to them and isolating them when they are being naughty, especially as this posts author has a 3 year old, what are we teaching our children? That if they misbehave or lash out (which is a normal developmental thing to do) instead of teaching them the correct thing, we show that their punishment is being alone? Imagine if your adult friend was crying and wanted a hug and you said “that’s it, go to your room to calm down” instead of giving them a hug 😂😂

@Sofia I love you 🤣 petty is my middle name 💅🏻

@Larissa 😂😂I’m Eastern European, it runs in our blood I think 😂

Hahahahhahahahaha! Put that text in the bin!!!!!! Nonsense!!!

Follow @hifam on YouTube and IG. Verrrry practical advice with compassion and no nonsense parenting insight. Highly recommend as a one stop shop

@Larissa can confirm that's the result as im that adult now who grew up with that kind of raising 🙋‍♀️

This book looks very dated, and I would never listen to anyone who says not to respond to my child. That said, sometimes there is a limit to how much concern we should show. They do need opportunities to gain resilience

Ima tell u what the nurse told me when I gave birth, parent your child the way YOU want to parent your child because every child is different and what might work for others might not work for yours and mama knows best case closed

OMG no she didn't.😭😭 I would “politely” decline. lol

Cry it out method is not even for 3 year olds??? Like I did the Ferber method for sleep training (I have twins and was getting literally no sleep) but now that they’re 3 it’s much different and they normally cry for bigger reasons. I think you just tell both her and your husband that it’s great those methods “worked” for them but that’s not how you would like to parent. My twins are 3 too. 3 year olds are so unhinged, disciplined or not lol

You’re the child’s mother and nothing is more important than YOUR instincts!!!! That book is out dated and MEAN. My mom used it with me 👎🏼 I like brat busters on YouTube even though she comes across as pretty harsh, the more I listen the more she makes sense. Just don’t feed tantrums (kids getting upset for not getting their way) and also never get mad at your kid because it makes them feel like crap about themselves. Just say something like “you threw your toy so now it goes away” and move on/keep playing. Sounds like your mother in law is bullying you! Maybe say something like “I appreciate your advice, I’m doing my best to find what is right for me” or “that doesn’t feel true to my style as a mother” something along those lines. Even though she’s being a jerk don’t be one back! Why does everyone feel the need to be so rude to moms?!!!!? Her job should be to support you. So sorry you’re dealing with this!!