Fed up

I do so much in the house cleaning cooking my Husbands been back to work since a month I have two toddlers to always look after till morning to late evening till he's back, he's always busy on his phone when I talk to him to spend time he doesn't show interest but moans I don't come to him to fulfill his desires and complains he doesn't see that I'm tired he says you don't do nothing kids ain't hard and than he says I use him for him to drive me around to get groceries he says it's no big deal when you cook or clean and always talks about second wife and saying if he can keep me on side when he finds one when he knows I'm not happy with it he still talks about it always it breaks my heart as it was a love marriage I'm tired of crying and made to feel I don't do nothing.
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You probably have already but it seems like you need to sit down and talk through a few things. Unfortunately you cannot make someone appreciate you, if he’s consistently putting you down, making your worries seem like nothing and not doing his duties as a husband you’ve got a decision to make as your happiness is important as well. Pray to Allah, seek guidance. Sorry you’re going through this. What you’re going through isn’t nice and it’s not right.

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I have tried to talk to him but apparently his needs are more important anyway thank u for your advice ❤️

Salam Alaykum. Oh my dear sweet sister I want to hug you! I'm so sorry you are going through this. I went through this. I needed up leaving after 10 years. He has two other children with other women since we been married. I git tired of doing everything. No one thought I'd ever leave and I surprised them all. I packed up and drive away with my daughter. He begged me back but I was tired of the lies. I'm getting a divorce after two years separated. I don't want to say leave because I don't know the whole situation. I would say talk to your Imam and make an appointment to voice your concerns. All you can do is try. If he doesn't want that then it's his choice. Don't stay in a loveless marriage "For the kids" it will destroy both of you. Good luck Habibi. I will make Dua for you!! I'm here if you wanna talk

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Thank u so much hun for your kind words and advice ❤️

So sorry you’re going through this hun! I think you should go out with a friend and leave him with the kids for the day! Ask him to have the house cleaned and dinner ready for when you’re back! Being a mother is the hardest job, he needs to appreciate you more! And I think maybe you need to show him that you don’t NEED him, you’re with him because you love him, not because you’re incapable of looking after yourself xxx

So sorry to hear this! If you haven't already, try sitting down and talking things through with him and maybe get the Imam or a marriage councillor involved for some impartial advice. If that doesn't work and you still feel that he's not respecting you then don't feel that you have to stay together if you're both unhappy. My parents stayed together a lot longer than they should have really and made a really difficult environment for me and my siblings to grow up in, children can tell things aren't right even if you're trying to hide it. Just do whatever feels best for you and your situation. I'm here if you need anything x

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Thank u hun ❤️

The way my Husband realized watching a kid,cooking and cleaning is tough is when I got sick a few months ago. He offered to get groceries for me. He realized how expensive it was himself! So now he knows where our money goes. He offered to take our son with him, he now realizes its hard strapping a toddler in and out of a carseat(middle seat) so now he listens to me when i say put the seat on the side. He offered to entertain our son for 1 HOUR while i napped because i had a fever, and he realized how tough it was. Blessing in disguise! Sometiems u just need to have HIM do it to see your side. Now my hubby doesnt complain when i tell him how hard of a day i had. Yes of course they thibk its easy because we are HOME. But who keeps the house sparkling every day? Who provides meals on the table? Who irons your clothes? .....

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Apparently the fairy godmothers lol sorry just wanted a laugh but I'm glad your husband saw through allhumdullilah it's meant to take two for the house to be up to tight it's not a once persons job but I love this how u said it x

Yep i had to put him in my shoes so he could see. Otherwise he would tell me all the time “its easy your at hoem, u can sleep all day”😂 only IF it was that easy. Goodluck to u mama🌷

I’m so sorry you’re going through this my dear! It’s so hard being a mom already and having someone this close to you belittle your work and make you feel like you’re doing nothing! Tell him that if he tried doing what you do for just a day he couldn’t do it! I can’t imagine what you must be feeling, I hate how most Muslim men unfortunately have nothing to do with Islam! Do you know that a wife in our beloved religion doesn’t have to cook or clean, she doesn’t even have to breastfeed her baby and if she does she can ask the husband to pay her!! That’s what Islam is!! The prophet PBUH used to sew his own clothes and used to help at the house! I feel so outraged when I see men like this treating their wives this way and on top of that he has the nerves of asking her to “fulfill” his needs or else he’ll marry !!!!

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I don’t know what to say that can help you to be honest, I’m just gonna pray for you my dear, I only have one baby and my husband helps me with the baby and the house and despite all this I still feel tired and sad sometimes, so I can’t even begin to imagine how do you feel 💔 May ALLAH be with you ya rab ❤️

It's true nowadays alot of Muslim men don't follow Islam really well they only follow the i can keep more than one wife it's in Islam but does acknowledge any other things Islam teaches us especially how to treat a women, thank you for your duas it means alot may Allah make it easy for every mother out there ❤️

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