Stillbirth and pregnancy loss shouldn’t be taboo: let’s share our stories. ♥️

My firstborn was stillborn. I actually helped change the law in NYS to recognize stillborns with a birth certificate and a death certificate. I was featured in several media platforms about this. I say my baby made a guest appearance on Earth to change history.

So many women are made to feel like they cannot speak about their child that was born sleeping but this is BS! Your still a child to that baby! That baby will always be part of your family! It is therapeutic to talk about your child born still because they matter still!

I know this wasn't in the last 6 months, but I lost my first baby at about 3 months in April of 2019. I was absolutely devastated beyond belief. I didn't really reach out much, and suffered in silence for months. Any time I did reach out, even to my OB, I received comments like "well if you had brought the baby to full term, it would have been worse for you", or "just keep trying". While I am sure the comments weren't intended to be hurtful, they were. Pregnancy loss is crushing. We had tried for ages. I had all these hopes and dreams for our child...wondering what they would look like, what they would be interested in, wondering how that first smile or laugh would look or sound like. I wish women felt more comfortable sharing their experiences, because when we come together, we really help each other heal. I know we all deal with things in our own way. Being more open about our experiences can help those that feel like they have to hide away when they are in pain.

I lost twins in May and I lost another baby in September. Both passed before week 8 but I didn't lose them until week 11 and week 9. I'm super scared to get pregnant again.

I lost my daughter just before 38 weeks in December of 2018. Time doesn't heal but the intentional steps you take to heal will. Give yourself grace to grieve however you need to for as long as you need to and surround yourself with people who won't judge you and will speak love into you.

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Congratulations! I had my double rainbow 5 months ago :)

I’m currently 6 weeks and 1 day. A few days ago I woke up in the middle of the night to pee. Everything seemed fine. Layed back down, and about 5 minutes later, I felt “the gush” Went to check and had a huge clot in my underwear followed by bright red blood. I was devastated. I knew what was happening. A few hours later, another clot. I had not at that point had my first US yet. I went in to be checked and the doctor told me that the gestational sac and yolk sac are present and the pregnancy is still viable but there is no fetal pole and he did not see a baby but it’s still early in the pregnancy but that I am also measuring at 7 weeks. The bleeding has tapered off, nothing at all on the pad, only when I wipe after peeing. Everyone keeps telling me to be hopeful and everything is fine but I just do not feel that way. Not one bit. I don’t see this turning out well. The 2 week wait is horrible and I’m heartbroken and emotionally drained and withdrawn from everyone at this point.

Back in Oct 2013 I had my first daughter by emergency Csection because i was fully dialated she was stuck sideways in the birth canal. She was 1 month old and passed away Nov 8 2013 in the Nicu from infection she was supposed to come home by Christmas 2013.

My first pregnancy, I was 34weeks when I told my Ob I was noticing less movement she said it was normal.My baby boy passed ended up passing due to a cord accident.Ill miss him forever 10-24-18.

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So sorry for your loss.

I don’t have a stillbirth from me but my story is my twin sisters Olivia and O’lita were doing great in my stepmoms belly everyone was super excited and the next day they had an appointment and said there was no heartbeat for both of our girls. That she would be induced and have them natural as if she would be giving birth to a live baby. It broke our hearts to know other moms would be going home with their babies and not my parents. June 1st they were born and both a pound so beautiful and I kissed their jelly like hands! First time I ever seen my father cry like a baby it broke my heart! But till this day I carry them with me and getting my sleeve tat finished for Christmas in memory of them with their names and such! I always say I do have two sisters my angels! Bless you ladies that have gone through this I could not imagine and you are all strong! ❤️

Not in the last 6 months but...We lost our baby girl in September 2014 at 22w+5d, and we lost our little boy in April 2016 at 25 weeks, we then had our rainbow baby girl march 2017, NEVER GIVE UP!!!❤️🌈xx

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And now 20 weeks pregnant with a little boy 😊💙xxx

I lost a baby due to ectopic pregnancy in 2008, I had emergency surgery and lost my left tube and ovary. I then lost another baby at 13 weeks in August 2018. I then had an ectopic in october 2018 and had to have methotrexate injections. I finally gave birth to my beautiful daughter in january this year. She is amazing. I'll never forget the babies I carried but never met though xx

This prompt doesn't explicitly say other kinds of loss, just stillborn, but others have shared so I will too. In 2009 I was raped while unconscious. I took plan B and it didn't work. I was pregnant and intended to have an abortion, which was a heart-wrenching decision but the right one for me, as I was a broke college student and my parents didn't have enough money to support me, let alone help with a baby. I found out it was ectopic at the clinic and was sent to the ER. After months of rounds of methotrexate and constant fear of internal bleeding, it was finally over, but it was an incredibly traumatic time. There is a lot of loss and grief there. Now, over a decade later, I'm pregnant with a child I planned and chose to have, and the baby is so far healthy. I didn't have the fertility problems I expected after having an ectopic. That doesn't mean something won't go wrong but I'm incredibly hopeful.

I have 1 biological child and 7 step. My husband and I have had 5 miscarriages. The last one was the hardest. The baby passed away inside me at 9 weeks and we didn't find out until my next checkup at 13 weeks. I had to have a DNC and when asked if we wanted the ashes he promptly said no without talking to me. We had the testing done to find out if it was genetic. It was a baby girl. Her name is Brooklyn Marie. She had Tricomy 13 and won't have survived long after birth anyway. I was not meant to biologically have more than 1 child. But I do now have 8 that I love more than life its self..

I had a placental abruption and pre-eclampsia with my first pregnancy that resulted in my son Henry being stillborn at 31+2 in oct2019. I then went on to have our rainbow baby Margot in October 2020. We almost lost her as well due to another placental abruption but fortunately I had an emergency c-section and she survived and is like a little miracle. It helps me to tell my story and talk about Henry. I miss him every day and will always hold him in my heart.

If you want to do something in support of sharing you could make it possible for moms to add an “angel” child to their profile instead of just the 3 existing options.

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I love this idea 💡

My first viable pregnancy in 2019 was with identical twin boys and only one survived past 24+4 that's my baby Dorian. It's hard being told you have to keep going when you have so many questions and blaming youtself. My little man. Spencer is on my mantle and everyday I say a mantra to remind myself I'm okay and he's okay watching over his twin

I had an early miscarriage two years ago, it was really hard because I could feel all the pregnancy hormones running through my body and yet the doctors kept telling me I wasn’t pregnant and basically acting like I was crazy. It upset me so much. I’m now 25 weeks pregnant with a baby girl and I’m so happy ❤️

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This happened to me too. It broke me so much. Since then I had 4 children.

I got pregnant at a very difficult time in my life. I was 6 weeks when they confirmed the pregnancy & did the first ultrasound. They scheduled another appt for 4 weeks later, I would have been 10 weeks along. I went to the appt and they couldn’t find a heartbeat so they took me in for a second ultrasound & they found that my baby had stopped developing at 8 weeks. Just stopped. They couldn’t tell me why.

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This happened to me with my 21 week old... just stopped growing. Lost heart beat with no explanation. I’m sorry for your loss ❤️

I miscarried on September 14th, 2018. I was almost 21 weeks pregnant. I don’t even know what the gender was.. they didn’t say, I was so heartbroken I couldn’t get myself to ask and it’s by biggest regret. I always thought of her as a girl and called her Daisy Mae, so I like to think that’s what she was. I am now blessed with my beautiful rainbow boy Oliver, born September 2nd 2020 (he shares a birthday with my brother who I just lost this past July at age 25) he’s just an extra special boy.

My husband and I had 7 boys (2 mine, 4 his, one adopted) and a beautiful daughter (ours); none of them planned. We decided to plan to give our daughter a full sibling rather than just half brothers. I removed the IUD and a short few weeks later I was pregnant. I had a miscarriage at 8 weeks. Then we got pregnant again 2 months later but lost our Abigail Faith at 33 weeks with no explanation. It was a terribly hard loss and I wasn’t sure that I wanted to try again after the two losses. I started a new job and during my 3 month probation period (no insurance for birth control) I got pregnant and we had a precious rainbow baby 🌈 3 years later as a surprise.

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Amazing story I’m pregnant right now with my rainbow child after a stillbirth it been 5 years

I first had a miscarriage and thought my next pregnancy would bring us our rainbow baby. But I had a placental abruption during my second pregancy. This resulted in my son, Jaxon, being still born at 27w in July 2020. I’m currently pregnant with our rainbow baby that’s due in May. It’s a feeling that words can’t describe & a pain to live with everyday.

Sending you all hope and support. No one can imagine the pain and longing of baby loss and fertility problems and it can feel like such a lonely place. Pregnancy after loss is also extremely challenging and one of the hardest things I have ever done. So worth it but even with support and with a new precious rainbow baby I am still struggling with my loss and so many emotions. The sleepless nights and hormones seem to be intensifying everything and my husband is sick of me but does not seem to see how tough it is or how he can help. I have been through so much to get to this point though I have to keep surviving and holding onto the specks of gratitude. I hope all of you can too and realise you are not alone xxxx

I had a missed miscarriage at 6 weeks. Went to what would be been my 12/13 week scan and was told my baby had stopped growing at 6 weeks and was told I would pass him/her within a week. That was the 03/09/18 and I was taken in for an emergency d&c surgery as my body wouldn't pass the foetus. I lost too much blood for me to pass the baby naturally . I fully lost my baby on the 10/09/18 and I wear a reminded on my skin in the form of an angel baby tattoo that reads "Never in my arms, always in my heart." I have now been blessed with my rainbow baby boy who's is 6 months strong. He's a little character. My heart goes out to those who have not been able to hold their baby in their arms ❤️ SENDING LOVE AND HUGS TO ANYONE WHO NEEDS TO HEAR IT !

I lost a baby at 17,went for my 12 week scan to be told that it had stopped at 9 weeks,had no symptoms or anything to indicate I had lost it.. had to have an emergency d&c! Fast forward 10 years I now have a 8 yr old & im 10 weeks pregnant 🤰 :) xx

Hi @Ashleigh ! My first son passed away in utero at 36 weeks pregnant. I notice there is no option for stillbirth and miscarriage when listing your children, when we sign up for Peanut. I can only list my living child, and my current pregnancy. Is that something you can take to your Peanut staff? I’m sure many moms would appreciate the option to share their losses, I know I would! I’m proud of my son, Solomon. Even if he was only with us for the most loving 36 weeks 💙.

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I noticed that today too when I tried to mark the loss of our son, Henri, this last Tuesday when I went into spontaneous labor at 20 weeks + 3 days. So heartbreaking and soul shattering. I am so sorry to hear about your loss, especially that far along into pregnancy 💔

Absolutely. I’ve passed your comment on and it’s something we’re working on. ❤️

I love this. @Ashleigh I do agree its taboo. It really hasn't been shed a light on since chrissy teigans post as she lost her son Jack. I admired her courage in sharing her story mainly cause when my son passed I wasn't as open. Here's my story. June 2019 is when my son gained his wings. He was 5m... days away from being 6m young. He was born at 29 weeks due to me having pre eclampsia and stayed at our NICU. He was at the NICU for almost 2m when he went home he did amazing and thrived. I'm so thankful that he came 2m early so he could spend a little more time bringing us the most joy. When we lost him... no words could explain how both my fiancé and I felt. We found out we were pregnant that following November with our rainbow baby Svetlana Eden. She is now 6m young. She isn't doing amazing and thriving. She is our light in shining armor our rainbow after the storm. We miss our son so much but we know that he is watching over us everyday and know that he is her personal guardian angel 💞

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I'm so sorry love. I'm praying for you and your family healing. Being a mama to loosing a baby is hard. If your comfortable with it you can always message me on here or add me on my IG @shanellala

I am so incredibly sorry to hear about your son. We just lost our son on Tuesday after my body went into spontaneous labor at 20 weeks + 3 days. He was too young to make it Earthside, so he gained his angel wings in the process. So scary that things can turn horribly after things are going so well.

Thank you all so much for your bravery. It’s so important for us to normalize these conversations. ❤️

Our son Henri was born on Tuesday 11/10/20. We were 20 weeks + 3 days along with a healthy baby when my body spontaneously went into pre-term labor, even though everything looked perfect a couple days before. He did not survive the birthing process as my body began failing him, it was simply way too soon. Had my body waited two more weeks, there could have been a chance for his survival. I’ve always wanted 2-3 children but now I am terrified to try again and potentially have another loss, even though I am aching to hold my baby and do all the things.

I had my Daughter Nevaeh at 25 weeks +3 days, the results returned that my blood was too thick & there was too many twists in the cord. My rainbow baby is now 4 weeks old & looks a lot like her sister. I’m extremely lucky to have my rainbow baby...however the pregnancy carrying her was extremely difficult with the belief I was never bringing a baby home...I still cry & mourn my Daughter I lost although my heart is bursting for my rainbow she hasn’t replaced Nevaeh but made my heart ache less & of corse filled my arms the one thing that’s desperately painful when you experience stillbirth

I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks in 2017. We tried for months to get pregnant and we're so excited when it finally happened. We already had 1 child but wanted another. I started bleeding around 6 to 7 weeks and kept calling the OBGYN office. The nurse kept telling me that it was normal. I thought I did something to the baby since I started working out harder. The baby stopped growning at 6 weeks. My OBGYN told me it was probably a chromosome issue and my body was already rejecting it. I took a pill to finish the miscarriage. The only thing that got me through loosing the baby was my other child got the flu at the same time. I also got the flu at the same time That was in December 2017. On Valentine's day in 2018, I found out I was pregnant again. I was scared through my whole pregnancy. I also was to scared to workout. But now we have a beautiful, healthy, and super smart daughter.

I’m so sorry to all the families who have lost a precious little one. It’s an awful experience I’d would not wish on anyone. It is an emotional roller coaster. ❤️ I know infertility can be a struggle too. It can be an emotional roller coaster as well. I’ve had 4 miscarriages and struggled with infertility as well. No medical causes found. We have started the adoption process before and have been blessed with 2 sweet girls through our struggles. If anyone has a similar experience with loss or infertility I’d love to talk to you. I know what a crazy, lonely, emotional process it can all be. I see you and you are worthy ❤️

I've had 3 MC in the space of 2 years i went on to become pregnant for the 4th time in August last year . Our now 6mth old Rainbow 🌈 baby son was born happy and healthy in May of this year. Ive since had another MC. Hes even more preshious now as I really don't think I could go through another MC , They really don't get any easier mentally xx

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I’ve had three miscarriages in the last two years as well. Husband wants to keep trying but Im mentally not ready to go through another loss:(

After trying to conceive for 10 years i had all but given up hope when by some miracle i found my self pregnant but then went on to have a missed miss carriage at 16 weeks 4 days, i will never forget those words “im sorry there is no heart beat 💔” after 4 days of trying to pass the baby on my own i ended up being rushed to theatre for a d&c, i have never felt heart ache like it, i spirealed down in to a deep depression, feeling like a failer. Fast forward 2 years I has managed to get my self back up and found we were blessed with our rainbow baby, it was a very stresful pregnancy so much worry, i felt i was the only mum to be sat in the waiting room for scans looking miserable while everyone else was excited! Evelyn arrived via emergency c-section 2 weeks late, happy and healthy 💜. She is now a cheeky, clever 2.5 year old and is our world 🥰. We so want her to be a big sister but not sure my heart can take the heart ache.

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Wow such a touching journey. I'm so happy you got your rainbow mama. Don't be afraid to try again :)

Thank you x im just not sure i can deal with the heart ache of all those negative tests let alone another miscarriage x

Ive had 4 misscariages. Had all different tests done and there was nothing wrong. My 3rd misscarriage was my worst we got the confirmation at epau that the baby's heart had stopped at 8weeks 6days and i chose to let my body go through the process on its own that afternoon i went to pick my son up from school but i didnt get far and i felt this pop and it was like as if my waters broke so i went home while my partner went to get our son and i went to the toilet and clots come out and when i wiped i then had the fetus come out on the tissue i didnt know whether the cry scream or what i was just in shock to see it there, i knew it was going to happen but didnt know what it would be like. After i passed it i thought i then passed the sack but my bleeding was awful it was just dripping out i then started to feel all funny and my partner called a ambulance.

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@Shannon this is how my friend described her miscarriage “at home”. Although she didn’t end up in the hospital, I still could not imagine going through it. Sounds like it is much harder to get through 😣 sorry to hear this. I can only imagine how hard this must be. That’s why I opted for a surgical management each time I miscarried

And one was with us within 5 minutes. I was taken to a&e i was tachycardic my womb was blocked and wasnt contracting so the blood just kept coming out, they eventually got all the clots out and i was sent home the next day. Then last year i had my 4th and i was at point of giving up i didnt want to go through it again until December 11th i took a test and it was positive my whole pregnancy i was on edge but it went smoothly had a few complications towards the end but my beautiful rainbow daughter was born in August and is fit and healthy and we are now complete as a family of 4 ❤

My first baby did not make it born at 21 weeks and 3 days on 9/15/16. She was extremely active the night before but waaayyy too active and my water broke. Turns out she was in distress. I feel as though it had a lot to do with our situation at the time. I was on the road almost every weekend between his parents house in NC, where he was stationed in Norfolk and a couple of other places in NC where everyone resided because we were moving to Germany. Well low abs behold 3 weeks prior to moving, she did not make it. Needless to say, when the movers came and shipped all of our stuff over, there was a bedroom with all of her stuff in it and I did not touch anything until I found out I was pregnant again...

I lost my daughters at 19 weeks 1 year ago today. My waters spontaneously went. I am glad a dialogue is being opened up more about baby loss. It is heartbreaking and torture every single day.

My daughter Camille was stillborn due to trisomy 18 and NTD. Losing her almost broke me completely. I think about her every day. I visit her grave every week, and now that I'm pregnant again and the baby is doing e in July but will be delivered in June (C-section) it will be really close to the day I delivered my Camille and I'm having all of emotions about it

Hello fellow warriors. I had 7 losses over 7 years. This included 2 missed miscarriages requiring surgical management, a partial molar pregnancy, removal of uterine septum and an ectopic pregnancy with removal of tube. I got my rainbow baby in March 2019 and went on to write a book ‘it will happen’ (available on Amazon) and create a podcast ‘the worst girl gang ever’ (on Apple podcasts and Spotify). It is my hope that we can smash open this taboo and open up the dialogue in order to end the isolation, invalidation and shame that so many of us feel when going through this. Unfortunately I have gone on to have another 2 losses since we had our son and I’m petrified of having to go through this shit show again 🙈

Respect to all of you amazing, brave and resilient women! I have been calling for more conversations like this. I recently took part in an interview and expressed this very sentiment. My Princess was born sleeping in 2011 at 35 weeks and I found my main issues stemmed from people projecting their feelings, telling me how I should feel instead of actually asking me. So many assumptions, assuming I wouldn't want to talk about her, assuming I would fall apart. Then I carried fear and guilt with me into my subsequent pregnancies. There is no joy in losing a child but having spent 15 years thinking I could not have children, my Princess is a blessing and even though she isn't physically with me I'm very much aware I am still her Mum. I really struggled when people asked "how many kids do you have"? If I said 2, I would feel like I am denying her, if I said 3 I was open to having to explain and subject myself to either deafening silence, quick change of subject or misplaced pity.

Can I just say alot of the comments about baby loss speak about rainbows. I would just like people to know that sometimes there are no rainbow babies for a variety of reasons.

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This is very true. Thankfully there is more dialogue surrounding childlessness but there is still a very long way to go. Sending hugs to anyone learning to live with this this right now x

I’ve had 7 non confirmed losses due to the early gestation & 2 missed miscarriages & 3 confirmed loses. I have two beautiful children & a rainbow baby girl on the way. ❤️

I have had a abortion (health reasons) at 19 yrs old, stillborn at 22yrs old and 2 miscarriages at 22yrs old! Finally at 24 I had my rainbow baby but it took a toll on my body, family and life in general!

Last year I had a miscarriage at 7 1/2 weeks. And it was so hard for me I became so depressed and didn’t want to talk to anyone. And when I would see all my family or guess what work pregnant it would just make me cry. And while now I’m pregnant with my rainbow baby and I can tell you she’s changed me so much.

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Congratulations on your rainbow! I know exactly how you feel & felt! All the questions on why you, what did I do wrong etc. I’m here if you ever want to talk. 💕

Thank you and I will

5 years ago I lost a baby at around 12 weeks... I didn’t know I was pregnant until it happened. I was in a physically abusive relationship and the baby would have been conceived out of force. When I lost her, I told no one for years. Only my husband knows about her. I think about her (I had a feeling she would have been a girl) all the time. Even though her father would have been a vile monster, I would have loved her all the same. I’m not extremely religious but I think there was a reason she was taken, I believe it was to keep her safe and since that day she watched over me, gave me courage to escape, and find love again and have two more beautiful daughters. 💗

I lost my baby on Tuesday - just coming up on the 2nd trimester. Devastated, heartbroken, been here once before, before our rainbow baby, and absolutely advocate for this experience of loss to no longer be a silent loss. I posted about my first miscarriage in Spring 2017 and received 400 messages from my own network of family and friends who shared their devastating losses, one after the other after the other. So many of these women shared that they have never told anyone. Can you imagine? It breaks my heart all over again. Some of them were my Mom’s friends - my Aunties as we call them in Indian culture ... some of them had been holding onto this silent pain for 40+ years 💜

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I am so so sorry for your loss 💔

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your baby. I hope you again have support around. It is heartbreaking x

Just over 2 years I lost a baby girl at 16weeks. We found out she had a very rare condition of Down syndrome. The doctors gave me a choice to either keep going with the pregnancy or to give birth right then. She pretty much had 0% chance of living, she would of either died during pregnancy or be stillborn or die shortly after. The longest a baby had survived with her condition was 9months old. We made the heartbreaking decision to let her go hopefully peacefully and not in pain then rather be selfish and go through with the pregnancy. We were lucky enough to say goodbye to her properly and visit her on her bday. To this day there is still a part of me that hates myself for doing what I did, I feel like my body failed me and failed her. In my eyes when we women are pregnant we are the only ones who can look after that child with the choices we make and act on so if by chance you do loose a little one it’s normal to feel hate to yourself and that you failed but remember it’s not true👼🏻

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This is so devastating and a heartbreaking choice to make either way 🤍 sorry to hear this

Thankyou ❤️

I went through 4 miscarriages back to back before my 🌈 baby I was lost depressed going through the miscarriages

My daughter had CHD and Hypoplastic left heart syndrome. She was measuring 6 weeks behind and at 37 weeks she only weighed 2lbs On September 1, 2020 I had a c section. My baby Evelyn came out alive but never made a peep. I remember immediately knowing something was wrong and the tears began running from my eyes. All of a sudden no one was speaking loud enough for me to hear. A nurse came over and explained to me that while my baby is alive she will not make it. We were able to hold her while she passed. I later found out she had a chromosome defect. She was pretty much the poster child for this defect. My heart hurts constantly. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about her. I know it would have been harder if she was alive and suffering but that doesn’t make this loss any easier.

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Sorry to hear about your loses Laleh and Rachel I can’t imagine loosing a full term baby 😞

Ima a mama to 5 beautiful babies. 4 of them are waiting for me in heaven❤️

I'm Kimberly and I'm 40 years old right now. In 1999 I had my first pregnancy a boy that I miscarried at 21 weeks had to have a D & C. In 2000 I gave birth to my oldest daughter. In 2001 my 3rd pregnancy was a miscarriage at 12 weeks, I was diagnosed with stage 1 cervical cancer. In 2003 I carried a girl for 6 months and she was stillborn. In 2006 I gave birth to a girl, she defied the odds and survived. In 2012 I carried a boy for 7 months he had too many issues and passed away within an hour after birth. I got to hold him and hear him cry and coo. My cancer was back and my cervix prematurely opened. I found out that I was pregnant at 16 weeks with twins this year. A boy and a girl. At 22 weeks I was in a store and didn't see this little boy rushing towards me with a basket trying to steer it but he couldn't see over it. He slammed right into my belly. Later that day I started bleeding badly. I ended up in the ER and the doctor told me that I had miscarried baby boy but baby girl wasn't injured at all.

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Omg what a strong woman you are to have gone through so much pain and loss you've been through so much I cant even imagine. Thank you for sharing your powerful story . I hope after you heard your cancer came back you heard better news not long after.