Am I Ready for a Baby? The Big Question

Am I ready to have a baby?

It’s totally normal to be confused about the answer.

Even if you’ve harbored a dream of becoming a mama for most of your life, you might still wonder if this is the right moment to take the leap.

So to help, we’ve put together some things to think about as you ponder mamahood.

But before you read on, remember, the choice is entirely yours!

No one can tell you when’s the perfect time to have a child (even if such a time existed). We simply hope this post gives you some food for thought.

These are all the questions to ask before having a baby so you can make the best decision for you and your family with our “am I ready for a baby?” quiz.

In this article: 📝

Quick “Am I ready for a baby?” quiz
How do I know if I’m ready to have a child?
How do you get emotionally ready for a baby?
Think about your support network
Does being pregnant make you happier?
How much does it cost to have a baby?
Can you ever be ready for a baby?
What is the perfect age to have a baby?
What should I do before having a baby?

Quick “Am I ready for a baby?” quiz

Quick-fire questions to ask before having a baby:

How do you feel when you think about starting a family? Happy, anxious, mixed feelings, excited?
Are you prepared for your life to change?
How do you think having a baby will impact your relationship with your partner?
Imagine you just found out you or your partner was pregnant ‒ how does that make you feel?
Why do you want to have a baby? Is it the logical next step, an expectation from family and friends, or something you’ve wanted since the start of your relationship?
Do you know what parenting style you would adopt? Gentle parenting? Crunchy mom? Authoritarian? Permissive? Uninvolved? Authoritative? Attachment? Free-range? Co-parenting?
What does your support network look like? Family or friends? Are they nearby or further away?
Do you feel financially comfortable to have a child?
Where do you see yourself in five years?
Where do you see yourself in ten years?

There are no right answers to any of these questions to ask before having a baby ‒ every parenting journey is different.

But thinking about your answers to these questions will help you answer the Big Question: am I ready for a baby?

‌
‌
‌

How do I know if I’m ready to have a child?

Let’s start with the basics. Why do you want to have a baby in the first place?

Your answer might be something like: I’ve always wanted to be a mama, I’d like to create a happy home for a child, and I love the idea of caring for another little being.

Or even: I don’t know exactly why, but I just feel it in my heart.

And that’s great! Becoming a mama should be something you really want to do.

Not something you feel pressured to do by anyone else — including partners, parents, in-laws, or society.

If you’re asking yourself, Am I ready to be a mom? because other people in your life want you to have one – and you’re not sure – maybe it’s time to take a step back.

Give yourself space to think.

And remember: your body, your choice.

What hormone makes you want a baby?

Does the desire to have a baby come and go at different points in your cycle?

Well, hormones may be the reason why you suddenly feel ready for a baby.

Which hormone?

Oxytocin: This is the “love hormone”, which can be released when you have a baby, when you feel love, and, sometimes, when you’re looking at babies, baby-related things, or even just thinking about having a baby.

But it might not be hormones at all that is making you feel ready for a baby ‒ according to OB-GYN Dr. Mary Jane Minkin, a surge in hormones may not increase “biological urges” to have a baby.

How do you get emotionally ready for a baby?

Babies, kids, and even teens (if you become their cab driver between social engagements) take up a lot of time.

Of course, being with your kids can be super fun and rewarding — but it also limits the amount of time you have to spend on your own interests and self-care.

Spontaneous trips, lazy Sunday mornings, and drinks with friends all become much more infrequent when you’ve got a baby to care for.

If you’re not sure you’re ready to give up your independence just yet, you could always take some time for yourself before getting on with mamahood.

Travel, learn a new skill, and meet new people.

Stretch your wings before you hop into the nest.

You never know, your experiences might enrich your parenting in the long run.

Is it normal to be scared about having a baby?

Yes. It’s perfectly normal to feel anxious or even scared when thinking “am I ready to have a baby?”.

And if you are pregnant, having some fear of giving birth is totally natural, too.

Have a think about what specifically you’re afraid of ‒ break it down ‒ and address each of your fears.

Another thing that can help? Talking with other moms and moms-to-be about your anxiety can work wonders.

And where better to do that than on Peanut?

Think about your support network

If you’re starting to think you could be ready for a baby, having a backup can make all the difference.

Do you have friends and family around who could babysit, get the groceries, or provide a shoulder to cry on?

Mamahood can be an isolating experience at times — especially in those first few weeks when you’re adjusting to a new life and routine at home.

Knowing there are people who care about you and your baby, and who are happy to help out, can be vital.

And, of course, becoming part of a friendly community of other mamas can be a real lifeline too.

Look at your relationship with your partner

If you have a partner who’ll share your parenting journey, it’s helpful to think about your relationship.

The fact is that having a baby is tough (oh so wonderful, but tough) — and it can have a significant impact on your relationship.

Even if your bond is solid as a rock now, with all the love, trust, and openness you could wish for, those sleepless nights can still shake the foundations.

And if you’re already having problems in pre-baby times, there’s a chance the stress of parenting could make them worse.

So, do you feel your relationship is strong enough to cope with the strain?

It’s also important to check you’re both on the same page when it comes to starting a family. Are you both equally enthusiastic and feeling ready for a baby?

What are the roles you’ll each be taking on as parents?

Take time to really chat about it.

Does being pregnant make you happier?

Pregnancy and childbirth are pretty intense experiences for your body.

So having a good level of fitness and being a healthy weight are helpful starting points for TTC.

Let’s not forget mental health and well-being either ‒ they are key when asking “am I ready to be pregnant?”.

If you’re able to get the treatment you need now for any mental health issues, you’ll be in a better place to cope with the stress of new parenthood.

How much does it cost to have a baby?

Am I financially ready for a baby? Can you ever be financially ready for a baby?

Yep, these are valid questions to ask when you’re thinking about how to know if you’re ready for a baby.

Babies (and kids) do cost money.

In fact, it’s estimated that an average family in the US will spend $13,000 per year on a child.

That is a big number to get your head around.

But you really don’t need to be a billionaire to bring up a happy, healthy child.

One thing to try is writing up a baby budget with all the expenses you can think of — diapers, clothes, crib, formula, healthcare, housing expenses, and so on.

That will help you figure out whether your finances are baby-ready now or whether you want to save up a little more before TTC.

Can you ever be ready for a baby?

Picture a scenario: you’re walking through a park filled with spring flowers and chirping birds while your baby gazes up at you adoringly from their stroller. Ah, bliss.

And no doubt there will be these beautiful moments if you decide you’re ready for a baby.

But there will also be poop, vomit, and tantrums (spoiler alert).

There will be longing for an old life that seemed a haven of peace in comparison.

And there will be so much exhaustion.

Then your baby will grow up into a child, and then a teen — bringing brand new challenges.

What is the perfect age to have a baby?

There isn’t a simple answer here.

Yep, it’s true that your chances of getting pregnant are highest in your 20s.

And it’s also true that when you get into your 40s, it becomes trickier to get pregnant (though not impossible).

But getting pregnant isn’t the whole picture.

Knowing whether you’re ready for a baby isn’t just about biology.

It’s also about whether you feel prepared – emotionally and practically – for mamahood.

What is the average age to have a baby?

If you’ve been wondering, the average age to have a baby in the US is 30 years old, but in the UK, it’s 31.

This is up a few years from 2020, when the average was 27 years old.

Should I have a baby at 40?

Yes, you can have a baby at 40, if you feel you’re ready for a baby.

In fact, according to recent records, the average age someone has a baby in the US has been increasing steadily for the past few years.

Plus, advances in science mean it’s easier to have a baby from 40 and beyond.

What should I do before having a baby?

So if you’ve decided you’re ready for a baby, is there a checklist of things you should do before you have a child, sort of like a bucket list?

Well, it’s totally up to you to make your own list of things to do before having a baby, but here are a few suggestions from our mamas of Peanut:

Travel as a couple or solo.
Eat the foods you won’t be able to if you go down the pregnancy route.
Go for a night out (or two. Or three).
Sleep in late.

None of this is to say you won’t still love being a mama.

But if you’re seriously thinking, Am I ready for a baby? it’s important to look at the big picture of parenting.

Wishing you all the best as you muse on mamahood!