Breastfeeding is so hard 😩

It’s really tough. Get as much support as is available in these early days… midwife, breastfeeding support cafes, la leche league… anyone who will be with you through this time. Good luck

Have you had any help from midwives post birth with breastfeeding? Or lactation teams? The signs baby was not getting enough are mainly related to weight gain and how many wet/dirty nappies. There is a lot of cluster feeding and wanting to be on the boob in these early days that can easily convince mums that they are not producing enough, but this is not always the case is all. Topping up with formula may impact your supply and then it's spiral of sorts. Can you reach out to local breastfeeding team to get some advice and maybe some tips and observations regarding the latch x

Breastfeeding is SO HARD! As is being a new mum! You’re doing amazing, no matter what you decide to do. Only you can know what’s best for your baby, don’t beat yourself up if you give a bit of formula until your milk comes in. Also, day 4 hormones were WILD for me which I guess you’re coming up to? I was in such a bubble of bliss the first few days. the midwife warned me about day4 and I just laughed it off….. then they hit and I think I cried for about 6 days every hour or so! Try to be kind to yourself, it’s hard enough even before you have any difficulties with feeding!! If she’s latching well then that’s the main challenge - keep going and your milk will come in, the more stressed then the more it may delay. Stay calm and focus on the positives 🩷 I had the guilty feeling even when I have been able to breastfeed bc I wasn’t enjoying it at first and kept wanting to give up - I think guilt is just part of being a mum! But You’re doing ace, keep going :) x

My baby was the same in the first few days. Ok during the day but at night she definitely needed more so I gave formula on top to settle her and she would take loads! I Only had to do this for a few nights until my milk really came in and now I don’t need to. Just see how you get on though.

Drink drink and drink some more. Let her suck and latch at any moment. The more she sucks the more milk you’ll produce. Just cause your boobs feel empty they will still be making milk on demand. Your doing everything right, don’t stress xx

Top up feeding can be a naughty trap, and can sabotage your breastfeeding journey. Make sure you have a set limit and don’t give any more than it so that your boobs are picking up the rest and the increase x

Congratulations she's absolutely beautiful! Best thing to help your milk come in is persevere the more she's on the boob the more your body is getting the message to get going. I would 100% recommend looking up who your local breastfeeding support team are and getting in contact seeing if someone can come to you or you can go see them. I ended up seeing a bunch of different people with my first daughter and all had amazing advice. Can be a bit of a nightmare to find the right people sometimes but totally worth it.

If you choose to go onto formula for whatever reason do not feel bad or guilty! Baby will take to it straight the way as bottle feeding for them is waaay easier. But don’t just forget about your boobs, continue to express when they feel full or uncomfortable, you can store, use or throw away the milk. This will purely be for your benefit to stop you from being in pain, reduce risk of infection and getting stretch marks. And no just emptying full boobs won’t increase or maintain milk supply - this only happens when you express or baby drinks from empty boobs x

Also I found midwife’s advice shocking about breastfeeding 😂 best off talking to those who have actually been there and done it!

I can’t help as I’m still pregnant but wanted to say she is GORGEOUS ❤️

After my emergency section I struggled while I waited for my Milk to come in - in the meantime i topped up with formula. You’ve given birth, your body is just prioritising it’s healing from the initial trauma. Try not to be hard on yourself. There’s a lot to be said about the emotional crash you can get when your milk does come in xxx

I’m with you, at the start I seemed to manage the get the latch right after a couple of goes.. baby got a little jaundice so was really hard to rouse and so barely fed, now no matter what I do I can’t seem to get a good latch I think my flow is too fast for him so he then goes for a bad latch which is so painful I honestly have had days where I can’t stop crying because I feel like I can’t feed my baby - I got a pump today so I could express some to give him! My community midwife saw me today so is sending a breastfeeding person to me tomorrow!

Have oats and loads of water you need to be having minimum 2 litres a day. Baby feeding even if there isnt much coming out will help stimulate more milking coming through! Don't worry, it will get easier. Breast milk digests quickly hence why they do get hungrier alot quicker that formula fed babies, isn't a bad thing. Xx

I had this same thing my milk didn't come in till day 5. I gave one of two bottles for top ups. First few days they really don't need much. It's just latching and suckling often to make more breast milk keep doing what your doing I almost gave up. But by day 10 my milk was really flowing and never looked back. Honestly so glad I persevered. Top up with 10 ml when you really think she wants it other then that the little colostrum she is getting is really high fats and everything she needs so will be enough. I know it feels awful but honestly is normal. I wouldn't worry too much. Though I know I was beside myself when it was me My lo is 10 weeks and we are pro now

Also ask for a breast feeding support midwife. Mine really helped with my holds and latch. Really made such a diffence. The help is there but you have to fight for it somewhere.

She might just be cluster feeding which is normal in the first 2 months or so and helps to regulate your supply x

Ah gosh I completely relate to this have been going through the same. Also two weeks early and milk came late and he was sleepy until like yesterday. Has been a nightmare trying to work out what to do and I’ve been so emotional! I’ve been breast feeding on demand and topping up with formula after some feeds. He needed to put weight on. Hoping to reduce formula over the next couple of weeks. Also been doing a bit of pumping to help my supply but not much. Agree with everyone about getting support - don’t let them forget you. I’ve also used a lactation consultant which has helped.

Luckily newborns don’t need too much milk. I would try pumping on the times you are trying to feed her until your milk supply comes in while you are formula feeding. Pumping for like 20 minutes and then you can create a stash. I would also get a haaka to catch your milk while breastfeeding and you can also store that milk. Try not to stress, it’ll come and once you get the hang of it it’ll be fine.

Wanted to exclusively bf with my second child as I couldn’t at all with my first. Soon became apparent I was not producing enough on my own so I combi fed for the first 3.5 months. Then my milk disappeared. Which I was very disappointed about but she is growing beautifully on formula and she’s now trying some first foods at 6 months.

It was SO rough for me in the beginning- hardest thing I’ve ever experienced. We had ties we had to have released and the feeding were so painful- once we had that fixed it still took a while for us to figure it out but now we’ve been going 13 months. Im happy to talk more but just know your baby knows you love them and you are doing your best!!

Have you seen if anything comes out while pumping?

I had the same issue. It can be so stressful waiting for the milk to kick in. My milk took two weeks to come through and what got us there was loads of skin to skin, it really does work and also topping up the other way around… so we offered breast first and when I had none left then we topped up with formula. Just give it time and definitely just loads of skin to skin to get those hormones going Xx

She is only a few days old love it takes alot of feeds to get milk in. My baby was constantly on my boobs at the start

I’d actually suggest to not have an hour feed. Try to stop at 20 minutes. I should back track and say everyone is different. But right now she is likely falling asleep and not actually eating. Stopping your feed will likely wake her… and you’ll probably start over again but every 20min is going to get that milk flowing more than every hour if she’s really just sleeping. Also ONLY if you have the help at home look into triple feeding for roughly 72 hours. This is basically nurse, pump, then top off with pumped milk (if your milk isn’t in that part might not apply) but this is taxing because you will truly feel like you’re just feeding, pumping and washing. Hand expressing and heat also can help

You need IRON! Your body will not make milk until it gets your blood counts up. The same thing happened to me. Pre birth I was leaking everywhere and the nurses called me the Dairy Queen. Within 24 hours after birth (major blood loss) my supply was basically gone. Iron and frequent pumping (latching works too- I had different issues with that) got be back on track I went on to make about 60-70oz per day for my twins! It is possible but it’s also ok if you don’t think it’s for you!

I am in the same situation as you! My boy is 5 days old and I had to have formula come to the rescue a few times. He is sooo fussy it is unbelievable. We are still at the hospital and I am getting support tight left and centre from the midwives here with breastfeeding and even they said that he is so fussy and greedy git. I feel I have disappointed my son and disappointed in myself. I knew it would be challenging, I am still gonna try... The amount of breakdowns I had over breastfeeding it is unreal.... If you want to talk - I am all here, drop me a message!

Breast feeding is so hard but I promise mama it gets easier! Please stop doing top ups, obviously do what is best for you and your family but this can ruin your supply and make your journey harder. Cluster feeding will be worth it in the long run, she is telling your body what she needs. Those first three months of your supply regulating is DRAINING, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel! Push through if you can❤️

I think it’s Normal it’s taking a few days for your milk to come in! Don’t stress! I just gave birth two weeks ago and it took about 5-7 days to start having a supply. I asked my lactation consultant if there was any supplements she reccomended… she said no just make sure you’re eating healthy! My OB said you need 500 MORE calories than when you’re pregnant to keep up with babies demand. So make sure you’re getting tons of protein water and yummy vitamins! They also recommended hand expressing and feeding her by spoon the first few days, supplementing with formula (which I became a fan of as baby was super hungry..) and setting an alarm to breastfeed anyways every 2-3 hours. This stimulates your breasts to start producing more as your body is getting the signals that baby keeps trying to feed. I hope it helps, that was all the instructions I got before discharge and I’ve been keeping a good supply. Also don’t stop your prenatals!! And relax! 💕

I just finished a lactation consultant program. I'm a long time Rn too. Please reach out. I'm not certified as an IBCLC yet but I think I can help you. Please reach out. Giving formula is going to tank your supply. It's all about supply and demand. Supplementing with formula results in decreased time baby is to breast. Baby is cluster feeding. Sometimes they feed every hour. By doing so it's like they are telling your brain that there is increased demand for more milkies and then the prolactin is increased. Suzanne

That’s unfortunately just how breastfeeding is. Don’t ever feel guilty. 100% of the time women use formula too, even those who try to advertise and brag even that they EBF. They don’t. You can EBF at certain times of the day, or week say when milk is fully established at 2-3 months, but even natural hormonal factors that include prolactin levels and the menstrual cycle will make it impossible. There’s a lot of education lacking when it comes to breastfeeding that makes mom’s feel guilty for reaching for formula. Formula is also technically more fortified than breastmilk so if anything feel proud that you are giving her an even more well rounded diet than just breastmilk which lacks iron and lacks absorbable vitamin D. People are stronger and healthier and baby’s thrive thanks to formula in addition to breastmilk.

@Marie some of us really didn't give formula Marie sorry if you just don't want to believe that. You know it's perfectly ok to tell OP formula tops ups or just giving formula is nothing to be ashamed without accusing other people of straight up lies.

@Marie this is very untrue 🤦🏻‍♀️

I've had a breast feeding team review as my baby is small and struggling to maintain latch they advised don't top up or express to feed as this will affect latch and supply won't regulate to her needs

@Travis Sounds very similar to me! After delivery I had to be rushed into theatre as I had lost about 3L of blood. I think this will play a big part in it! And that's amazing! What did you do in the mean time with feeding whilst getting yourself back to producing the milk? Did they have full formulae? or breast/formulae top ups? xx

@Zavinta Aw bless you, I can fully relate🥺. I always told myself I would not be upset if breast feeding doesn't work, as I know it happens to lots of women! Yet here comes the hormones I guess!!😆😤 I will message you, because reading that is like I'm reading a message I've written myself! xx

@Cecelia (Cece) oh wow thank you! I didn't really think about the extra need for the calories! So did you use top ups in between and then still get baby to focus on breast every 3 hours? I think this is something I need to try and do!

@Jackie Thank you so much! That's really helpful🩷

@Mou it is true you cannot ever not supplement in the beginning. Milk supply goes through ups and downs and takes times to fully come in to meet the demand of your infant. This is the case for every mother. I wonder who is really lying. I know these facts sorry if you would rather deny that you’ve ever topped off or fed even a small amount of formula but it’s true.

@Gillian no it is true- milk does not ever meet the demand of infants instantly. You always need to supplement Even if it is a small amount at the beginning and through any hormonal changes. I know this not just from experience but also from research. The return of a Menstrual cycle will also cause dips and prolactin levels changing at certain times of day as well as increasing only with milk supply increases which takes time too. There are various ups and downs so please do your research instead of believing false narratives. At least I know I have and I’m better off for it. Too many mothers are misguided and not taught about prolactin, their menstrual cycle, even size of nipple vs the size of baby’s mouth which affects the ability for their infant to draw milk. They are not taught these very important things at all and expected to unrealistically just produce enough right away and their infant is somehow just magically expected to pull milk. There are so many factors at play.

@Marie how do you think humans have survived this long before formula was invented lol? It’s possible to not formula feed stop spreading misinformation and accusations

@Marie it's bullshit Marie. My baby didn't get any formula at all until 11.5 months when I got pregnant again and my nips were too sore to carry on. My baby lost 3% birth weight only, and was back to it by day 10 on only being on the boob, no colostrum harvesting, no pumping and bottling, no formula. You are chatting complete and utter shit. Which is not helpful to the OP and diverts from her actual question. @Megan every baby and mum has a different situation and I am sorry if this little tiff with Marie has somewhat highjacked your post. If you are being advised to formula top up then absolutely do what is right for you, but I would still stand by getting as much help as you can from the breastfeeding teams if you want to carry on, I see some women who have had similar situation already helping you with advice x

Hey lovely, first of all, you're doing amazing! It's tough at the beginning due to cluster feeds, hormones and in your case blood loss. A few things I can recommend, firstly seek a breastfeeding consultant/ breastfeeding group if you can or not done already. Try to massage your breast and nipples before feeds and pump a bit after baby feeds. Stay hydrated specially in the current weather and due to your blood loss, take postnatal vitamins and if you can, drink fennel tea, it helps to bring on milk and also to avoid baby colic and constipation for you. I'm not a professional but this is what helped me with my two boys. Last of all, do what feels good for you, if baby needs top ups then its ok or if you want to exclusively breastfeed fine or change completely to bottle feeds fine. You're amazing! Good luck mama, you can do this 💪 ❤️

@Marie I'm suspecting you're a fake profile just trolling. Either that or straight up stupid. Or both. I'm going to say both 👍

Breastfeeding is hard love ❤️ But it does get easier. It took 2 weeks with each of my 4 children to get used to it and get over the nip pain etc. You know formula is there and if it makes you feel more at ease. But I will say that it's normal for it to take 5ish days for your milk to properly come through, with what feels like constant feeds called cluster feeding. I would suggest getting in contact with someone, I'm pretty sure there is actually a Breastfeeding helpline? And ask for some professional advice. But if you decide not to, don't feel guilty! If it was easy to breastfeed, every mum would do it! As long as you're happy and your baby is happy that's all that matters at the end of the day xx

@Gillian many of them didn’t! Formula types of feeding or feeding with animal milk and water was a very common thing before!

@Mou well great for you then??? You’re a complete anomaly as this is not typical. Most people NEED formula or some type of formula creation which is why it was created by humans to begin with. I’m not “ chatting shit” please learn respect. Just because you haven’t researched this In depth like I have doesn’t make it untrue. I’m simply trying to help OP and not swear at everyone else in the process. It’s an absolute anomaly and rarity to never supplement. You even state yourself that you did at 11.5 months, While most do from the start. I rest my case!

@Rachael I’m educated, and from the sound of it, you’re just a bully. I hope you find peace and education on this subject one day.

@Marie I know respect, you called me a liar so you'll get no respect from me. I'm not swearing at anyone but you, just you. Call me an anomaly, fine, I know that is not true also but I won't have you say that women who claim they never supplemented and ebf are liars. Did I need to supplement at 11.5 months, no. Did I choose to because it worked better for me and baby, yes. Choosing to doesn't mean having to. I fully support all women's choices including OPs.

Hey friends, you can EBF if it works for you. I was septic, had a second operation to remove a blood clot and needed 4 blood transfusion because of blood loss. I was on strong painkillers so I wasn’t able to breast feed. I tried it but by the time I could I didn’t have a supply because I was inconsistent. My LB was tube fed and then straight on formula. It depends on your situation, you’re only doing the best you can. There are benefits with both and cons with both, for example, anyone can feed my LB because he’s bottle fed but breast feeding is extremely beneficial for their immune system, especially before they’ve has their immunisations. Do what feels right for you. I understand the guilt, he would always reach for my boob to feed and I felt like a failure because I couldn’t but the feeling passes. Best of luck mama! Beautiful baby by the way! ♥️

i intended on breastfeeding. i tried for 2 weeks. every time i dreaded feeding him. i would be in tears every single time. my milk supply was amazing i had heaps it’s just he never would latch properly and it would hurt so bad, end up taking so long. he would only drink for like 8 minutes because he drank fast but he had to keep stopping because he wouldn’t latch right and it killed. i balled my eyes out in refusal to do formula but it just wasn’t working. i had to do what was best for the baby and that was formula if that’s what works best for them and keeps them happy you should try. he’s now been on formula for 2 weeks and i couldn’t be happier. i wish i could’ve breastfed, but this is what’s best. just do what’s best.