I just caught my husband watching porn on his phone

I think you should have a conversation with your husband about the needs he wants to meet. Tell him how you feel about the pornography and how it can affect your marriage. Seek counseling with a marriage counselor.

im so sorry love. betrayal trauma is so real. for him to deny it at first he KNOWS it was wrong to do. thats why men hide it they know its wrong even though they act like they didnt think it was wrong. porn is cheating everyone can have their own opinions but that is mine. if u wouldnt want him lusting at another woman at work whats the difference if she is online? just bc they will never meet its okay?? cheating isnt just physical it starts in the mind. ur feelings are valid. lots of studies to show the negative effects of porn on the mind. it isnt healthy especially what porn has become of today. if he cannot respect you and truly understand how harmful it is not only to women but to himself thats something u should really reflect on if its worth staying. i hope he learns how harmful it is. understand though to that men are raised up in a way where this behavior is super normal and actually praised amongst each other. men are taught from a young age to objectify women its very sad.

i hope you find peace and healing. ur not alone in this girl💗 check out tiktok lots of women talk about this issue and how theyre coping and dealing with it.

My fiancé is a recovering porn addict, he needs to first recognize the issue then there’s many resources to help him and yourself 💕 I also have a group for partners struggling so PM me!

For me it’s not the act itself it’s the hiding and covering up. If only he would tell me look I’m struggling with this… pray for me or something like that I would process it better but the hiding and lying is the sickening part. Sorry you are having to go through this . They don’t think of us they only think of themselves

I’m sorry for you baby’s loss and all the emotional trauma u been thru but maybe this one u be taking it too far, porn is not cheating it’s literally something very human not even about being a man! I don’t agree with other people here saying it’s an addition since u have never seen this from him but I think that phone should be respected first of all and that watching porn is something completely normal, we are adults and it’s not for emotional purposes…

@Thabata Nicole please don’t spread the narrative that watching two strangers have sex and touching yourself is “very human”. If you enjoy that fine but poster made it clear this isn’t something they agree with. As well, you can’t say it’s not cheating. It might not be cheating in your relationship but many monogamous relationships have zero porn because you break it down to it’s simplest form and it is literally your partner touching themselves to someone who isn’t you, that’s cheating, again not in yours and that’s fine but saying things as set in stone as you did isn’t fair or right to be doing. Your opinion on porn isn’t the ‘end all be all’ on the topic and it’s clear this poster is against porn usage

Was he asking if you wanted a divorce for real? Or just sarcasm

@Heather-Michelle that mentality u have is crazy, all men in this earth watches porn and many many women too! Asking to control somebody like that in such thing and victimizing urself for it it’s to ask to live in denial live with a husband who literally needs to hide basic stuff to u! It’s childish

Literally could have written this post myself 3 weeks ago. Turns out it’s a massive addiction he’s been struggling with for many years and was obsessed. I had a baby last year and due another one within the next few weeks. You need to sit down and talk it out properly. Write down all your questions and make sure he answers them, if he doesn’t just leave it’s not worth it. My partner has been and referred himself for treatment and has been to the doctor as he wanted help to stop the addiction, but I made it super clear I was not supporting his addiction but would only stay if he got help… if he felt like he needed it. The doctor told him to let me put parental controls on his phone so I can make sure he can’t access 18+ things. So I’ve done that. He’s actually a lot better already, but it’s going to be a long process as it’s completely knocked me. Message me if you want xx

Sorry for ur baby May he rest in peace. Pray for your husband and God will help you and ur marriage. It’s an addiction but it can be broken off. I was addicted to it and now I’am set free 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 all glory to God. I’m thankful.

I'm so sorry for your loss it changes who you are. I lost my first and waited three years to have my daughter so being pregnant so soon after loss must be so hard for you. I think communication is needed. A proper sit down and chat if he will do that? When is your babies anniversary? We have no village either and its fucking brutal. Xxx

@Thabata Nicole wow. I basically said don’t push your opinions as truth and that’s your answer? Calling my boundaries crazy and controlling? 😂 wow. Anyways, if you wanna do your own research go ahead but many relationships consider pornography use as cheating, AGAIN totally okay if it’s not to you but your opinion is not the only valid one. The fact you can’t agree to disagree shows who’s the childish one

@Thabata Nicole oh and I wanna add. What are you talking about victimizing myself and living in denial? Are you actually fr right now? And every man? No hunny cuz if you read the comments you’ll see a lot of women with recovering addicts doing our best to change the normalization of porn. And please, never tell the partner of a recovering porn addict that they’re victimizing themselves, and all that. You’re just stuck in your ways and that’s fine really, just don’t shove them down our throats and call people who disagree names

If you want to chat please pm me. My husband is a recovered porn addict and I'm a loss doula so I really hear you on that mix of things life is throwing at you right now ...

He isnt a porn addict unless his face is burried in his phone and hes locked away in the bathroom 24/7. I still dont understand why most women don't like it when their partners watch porn every once in a while. Its honestly not that big of a deal unless you are self conscious about yourself and have issues with your self image and dont want your husband "looking at anyone else but you.". Instead of blaming him immediately TALK ABOUT IT LIKE ADULTS INSTEAD OF BLAMING HIM. Whether you consider it cheating or not you need to sit down and talk about both of your needs. Him asking if you want a divorce makes it clear to me that he has needs that you wont fill (not that you have to) and when he takes his needs into his own hands you weaponize it against him. You denied having sex with him and sex/masturbation is a form of stress relief for so many. So if you denied sex and he needed stress relief of course he will turn to porn. It is not emotional its just physical and thats what a lot of people dont understand.

@Thabata Nicole Not all men watch porn. And you’re not asking for control when you set a boundary that prohibits porn, you’re asking for respect.

@Taylor simple as that 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻🫶🏻

This is so weird. You didn’t want to have sex and he was horny. Wtf do you expect him to do. Go out and cheat? He needed to get off. What’s he supposed to do just close his eyes and it magically happens. Stop causing drama in your marriage.

@Amanda you’re actually dumb. I cannot comprehend even speaking to people like you. no one’s causing drama in my own marriage, who even does that to their marriage😂😂you’re so fkn lame bye

You’re the only one name calling here.

@Amanda are you saying that when you’re horny it’s so uncontrollable that you have to go and watch strangers have sex instead of masterbating to the thought of your partner? No probably not, why do you assume men are different? Using porn as an outlet instead of your partner or even the thought of your partner is lack of sexual discipline. And go out and cheat? The poster adds at the end that it is cheating within their relationship so he already did go out and cheat. You act like men have zero control of urges and that’s scary to me. No one, and I mean no one “needs” to get off. There’s no drama in holding men accountable for their sexual discipline, and there’s no drama in enforcing your boundaries.

@Amanda if you would’ve read the post correctly, I said I didn’t want to have sex but then caught porn on his phone. No one said that I denied him sex so he went to go jerk off right after🥴. It’s that I caught it on his phone.

@Heather-Michelle !!!!!!! 👏 👏

@Heather-Michelle so you never have any desires yourself? You act like men are the only ones who can watch porn. 🙄 both my husband and I get off in our own sometimes plus we have a healthy sex life 10 years in. I don’t know to each their own!

@Heather-Michelle and no I’m not going to picture my husband lol. I’ll just have sex with him.

@Amanda no I don’t desire anyone but my partner nor do I fantasize about other people and I expect the same from him, it is being monogamous in all aspects. If you enjoy watching strangers have sex by all means give your sexual attention to random people online but when that boundary has already been set within someone else’s relationship it’s both partner’s responsibility to practice good sexual discipline. Crossing boundaries is cheating, simple as that. There’s no “making drama” it’s just enforcing boundaries that were already placed