Struggling. Advice?

I haven't been diagnosed, but I feel I may have pmdd. I never noticed it really till now. I've been crying for literally no reason. At everything. I can't seem to think anything positive. I've been feeling very depressed and numb. Internet says ssris. But I've tried birthcontrol (almost all of them) I've been on every anxiety, depression, or antipsycotic meds and nothing works. Being a mom, a wife, and a human seems so difficult I feel worthless and helpless. I feel I spend more time fighting it that I don't spend time enjoying life. Advice?