in December 2024 Babies 🇺🇸

My mom wants to be in the delivery room for my second baby... but my fiancé disagrees.

To explain, our family doesn't know that I'm pregnant yet. This came up in conversation with my mom today because she elected to not be there when I gave birth to my daughter (she is really worried about germs and this was when COVID was settling down) so I asked my fiancés mom. My mom changed her mind last minute, and my mom regrets not being there since MIL said she couldn't change her mind and the hospital had her approved already over my mom for months. She said she wants to be there for the next baby, but a few months ago she said when we have a second baby it should just be me and my fiancé since so much drama ensued between her and MIL. I would like my mom there, but my fiancé said we should keep it to just us when it's time to push (daughter came early and it was only ten minutes of pushing, assuming it will be similar with this pregnancy) but he doesn't want the drama since MIL will probably be watching our daughter while I'm in labor. I feel bad for my mom, but I don't want the drama either. I'm not sure if it's worth it since we're planning on having 3 kids, and my mom could be there for the last baby. The year of drama over the hospital situation really ruined my birth experience and first year. Our moms will only be in the same area for the first time tomorrow for our daughter's 3rd birthday because of their fight. What do yall think? Convince fiancé, or tell my mom we want it to be just us and FaceTime her and let her come in immediately after birth to see the new baby? Also, this will be my parents 2nd grand baby, my MIL's 5th.

Show your support

I would let your mom be there since MIL was there for the first. Then if you do end up having a third, have it be only you and your husband

Have your mom there. There shouldn’t be drama this time, it’s your mom’s turn to be in the room with you.

I agree. I want her there, and she deserves to be there especially since I wanted her there with my daughter being born. (She was, just not for the birth) my biggest fear is her changing her mind. She's told me many times she will do something and then when the time comes, she's a no-show. But, she does have health issues that have been progressively getting worse so I would feel horrible not giving her the option to be there. It was traumatic for both of having her kicked out with my daughter. I'll definitely talk to my fiancé about it and let him know how I feel after our first sonogram in a week!

You’re the one giving birth. Your husband has absolutely zero say in who YOU want there while you’re giving birth. He’s not the one in labor and pushing out a baby.

Personally. Idc who's feelings it hurts. Idc who was there for the first. Labor is about YOU and who YOU want there. Ur partner isn't the one who needs support you are. You are the one pushing out a baby. And if u do let her in it shouldn't effect ANYONE but you.

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