Lies lies lies
I have been low contact with my mum for about 6 months now. She’s always been difficult but through pregnancy last year she was horrid to me. Then since my boy was born she was very rude about his appearance etc. just awful. So I went low contact. I’m close with my siblings and my sister told me that my mum told them that I do nothing with my son (basically saying I’m a terrible mother). The thing is she never talks to me so she has no idea what I do with him which actually I do a lot with him. I’m sick of the lies she says about me behind my back. And there’s many more. I’m now only talking to her if she reaches out and I’ve found that she NEVER reaches out. So going low contact has meant actually we don’t talk. I don’t get why? It’s like she thinks it’s my responsibility to always reach out.
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I think no contact is because she knows you see through her bs. Narcissist parents withhold love and attention as a tool to control their children. Like the fear of totally losing a parent and not being loved is enough to shake most people into conceding. It's how they get to continue being awful without having to change. My mom went 5 years without reaching out to me when I told her the way she talks to me is hurtful. My dad bribed me when I was in a tough situation to make contact with her, but I imagine she would have never talked to me again.
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I’m sorry! This is awful on so many levels. I sympathize as my mom is the same way in thinking that our relationship is just a one way street. It’s extra hard having a little one when I don’t feel like I can reach out to my own mother.