Nighttime struggles

Our toddler takes an hour to get to bed every night, then still cries for about 20-40 minutes until eventually falling asleep. We start at around 7 but he’s usually not asleep until 830. Which is difficult because we have a 4 months old so have to get her down, then finish up chores so really no time left in the evening to spend quality time together or even have some personal time to relax. I just feel as if 8:30pm is too late bedtime for a 2 year old? Am I crazy? He also wakes up at 6am-630am so it’s not like we get any time in the morning either unless we wake up at 5am 🫤 my toddler refuses to nap in his cot at home, will have a 40 min nap in the couch or in the car but always has a 2 hour+ nap at daycare! Like what the eff man! We have a very routine bedtime but this has been going on for months. Any tips?
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My tip would be drop the day nap and bedtime will sort itself out. I'm also wondering why they are crying at night time for so long? Maybe they want you to lay with them and it will be easier for them to fall asleep? That really is a long time for a little kid to be crying. Even a minute is too long in my opinion but I know I can't change some people's minds about letting kids cry. Is your kid acting tired at 7pm? If theyre not there's honestly no reason to try to get them to bed unless they are tired. Just start bedtime routine at about 8 or whenever they seem tired. Also mine naps at daycare so on daycare days we do about 9pm bedtime because she has a 1hr nap (capped at 1hr otherwise bedtime is like 10pm and now that is a ridiculous bedtime for a toddler 😂) and on non daycare days she will have no nap and go to sleep at around 7. Her wake up time is around 6-6.30 everyday too 😊 The bedtime doesn't matter as long as the bedtime routine is consistent.

Our little girl is going to sleep between 8-8.30pm at the moment and still has a midday nap between 1-2 hours each day which I heard is pretty normal. It gets later until they end up dropping that nap from my understanding. Maybe just start the bedtime routine later like Crystal suggested. No point starting if he's not tired! Or trying to drop the nap (or have it capped each day) if you wanted him to go to bed earlier. Good luck!

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