AITA? am I being a weird and possessive mom?

I live with my bd and his mom. His mom’s really nice she helps us when we ask. Does a lot for us but some things just rub me the wrong way. So please tell me if I’m just being an ahole. 1. She always needs to know where I’m talking my OWN CHILD. If I leave it’s always “where are you going and when are u coming home?” And if I say a late time she just gives me a judgey look. 2. Anytime im not home I ALWAYS get a text saying how’s the baby? Like im gonna hurt my child or something god forbid I’m left alone with him. 3. she just barges into the room. She doesn’t knock she just comes in after she’s off work to see him, if he’s crying, literally at any point in time she’ll just barge in to see him or try to take him from me. 4. She’s constantly trying to tell me not to do things like the other day it was 105 degrees and I had a little mini fan on him and she barges in and I put it towards his head and she’s like no no don’t do that. 5. She used to come into the room and take him from me every single time he cried until my bd told her to stop doing that. 6. There’s a lot of stuff she USED to do that my bd put an end to that has made me feel like she just thinks I’m incompetent. It gets me to the point where I avoid interacting unless I absolutely have to. This whole thing just makes me want to keep him from them and that’s why I think I’m being possessive.

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My ex's mother was the same way!!! Nothing I did was right. My own mother has even tried pulling that. Stand your ground. Remind her that he is YOUR child. Not hers. You set the boundaries, the rules. She doesn't. You can't respect her if she doesn't respect you.

Try to get your own place. That would be drive me NUTS!

My husband’s mother would be the exact same way! You dont owe her an answer to any of her invasive questions. If you have not id try to have a talk with your partner about it so he has your back and then go and talk to her 😅

Ugh that's my story.

No, it sounds like your MIL is overstepping boundaries & needs to be told to back off.

No, you're not crazy or possessive. My ex mother in law tried o be crazy attached as if she wanted to be my daughters mom. She even tried threatening to take her from me. I had to physically fight the lady as she kept getting in my face and chest bumping me one night. That was the last straw. Didn't even tell her the next time I was pregnant. Her son told her when I was like 7 months pregnant, and I avoided her. Unfortunately, it can be your own family that's crazy. Do what's best for you and your child. I don't condone violence, but I would def sit her down with your husband and tell her how you feel, what your expectations are, and setting and keeping boundaries. But politely and respectfully. Make sure to thank her for her help, but you don't want to feel the way you do bc it's putting a strain on yalls relationship. Best of luck!

That would annoy me too - my mum and MIL can overstep sometimes, although other times I do think it's just me overthinking their kindness. For the first one, she might just want to be aware of the comings and goings that are happening in the home (since its her home as well as yours). Just ignore judgy looks, they are her problem, not yours. For the other things, maybe try and outline some boundaries you would like followed. Something I told my family when they were overstepping is that I am a new mum, I am learning to be a mum, I cannot learn if they are always taking over. It'll also confuse your son when he's older. Me and my partner have made an agreement that if our daughter needs comfort or guidance one person needs to take charge and everyone else needs to keep quiet. We had too many people jump up to help her or tell her off too many times - that just confused her. That does mean that there may be times where you do need to step back and let your mil take charge though.

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