So incredibly difficult

If you're on Facebook search gentle parenting Sarah ockwell That group is amazing Won't get dressed for what? It's possible she wants a bit of control She won't drink any fluid? Not even dilute juice? Ignores you in what way?

This is me and my son right now but I'm a SAHM and my boy has started full time school nursery. You are not alone! Will come back to this post later with some things that work for us *some* days. xx

She won’t get dressed for anything, nursery, play dates I give her plenty of time over an hour as she is very very particular and stylish, usually she wants her skirt to match her top and her boots to match and then she does her hair and then when I think we are finally there I pop up to get changed / grab her bag and then she’s naked again saying she didn’t like that outfit 🤯She won’t drink anything, we offer water, juice, I’ve got so worried I’m offering hot chocolate, chocolate milk, ice lollies, Mellon I am sure it’s contributing to her moods. She ignores me saying it’s time to start thinking about what to wear, about preparing to leave - she’s just dropping her nap so it could be that as it’s worse when she’s tired. Everyone who knows her thinks she’s the cutest kindest little girl, it’s like she saves it for Daddy & I. She’s smart, she’s in a pre school & I’m told he’s blending words & I’m sure some of it is control, it says it’s a leap but was just wondering if anyone had tips

@Naomi do you choose 2 outfits the night before? If my son isn't dressed we leave the house undressed. Left without shoes on and a top on, without coats on the lot. He changes his mind and we fix it. Hmm yes drinking nothing is interesting. Have you actually left her and seen what she does on her own accord? My son sometimes only has 500mls at best most days. Some 200mls. I'd maybe just try shift it up. Can you also look an outfit hangers and put a full outfit on a hanger. I don't know if at 3.5 they have the ability to think ahead. Can you do a timer so she knows when the timer goes off (you are then fully ready to leave) she then gets dressed etc that's the one task and straight out the door. Little ones are allowed emotions. Them learning new things and exercising control and preferences etc etc is all part of the parcel. Kids always save it where they're safe. Negative behaviour/hard to handle behaviour is a sign of trust What do they mean by blending words?

Thanks for your reply 😀 an outfit option always worked for my son, but she’s another level. I did sort through all her clothes and put them into little boxes so she could choose a top / bottoms etc from each. I had to leave yesterday with her part dressed to avoid my son being late for school and she screamed murder and refused point blank to get into her car seat which is super stressful as he keeps getting attendance issues as he’s late & it’s always because of this which adds to the stress. She selected a denium jacket to wear that she had when she was 1 and preceded to wear it, it was so tight she couldn’t put her arms down which was pretty funny 🤣 I will try and post a pic for amusement. Will try the timer thanks. She’s blending sounds as part of phonics, so anywhere she sees words she pics out the letters she knows and makes the sounds, I guess it’s the start of reading which seems early but maybe it’s not.

Her fringe is where she cut her own hair 😳🤯

We've had a lot of sleep issues, 2am wake ups, nightmares etc which we've put down to starting nursery full time. I lay with him till he falls asleep now...leave, then return when I'm ready to nod off. He reaches out for me in the night and snuggles in but much less disturbing for everyone than the screaming, raging, meltdowns. Getting ready... my lo has a uniform which took some getting used to.... but now there's no debate about what to wear. Could your lo have a drawer with limited nursery clothing options? I do as much as possible the night before... lunch, clothes ready etc. Then in the morn once he's fed and everythings ready .. the incentive is once he gets dressed he gets to pick a game which I play one on one, 100% focus and attention for around 10 mins (Also diverts attention from any potential undressing) Then it's time to go... (sometimes a toy is quickly picked to come in the car with us)

Last few weeks he's coming home with a nearly full drinks bottle... hardly touching it at nursery. I've also tried hot chocolate, warm milk, various fruit juices. Today he's had a smoothie carton before school and one after. We try to give him lots of fruit too... melon, Grapes, orange etc with high water content. Tip tops are also a winner for us.. wrapped in a clean tea towel if too cold for little hands. I'm also regularly ignored unless something is wanted or demanded of me. HV advised we put him back of the car whatever state he was in re not getting dressed and to be honest that was never going to work for us... it was only going to escalate the meltdown and quite frankly more dangerous, time consuming and scene creating. I can't imagine it creates positive associations with going to school.

Yep the hour long battles to get dressed breakfast and teeth done are draining. I think your probably right dehydration plays a part as mines rubbish at drinking too. And hunger too as she's a so difficult to pin down to have breakfast but once she's eaten she's generally a bit better

@Naomi try buying some outfits with her favourite cartoon or favourite things. My little one will only wear spiderman and comfy trousers. I also have a uniform for nursery he wears it now before he was refusing to wear the jumper at all. It was hard work, and he refused to wear shoes apart from Spiderman shoes. If it's not spiderman he won't wear the shoes on his days of school. But for school he understand black shoes for school. It was such a nightmare though.

Thanks everyone, we seem to have turned a corner & my lovely little girl is back 😍