Advice?

Hey! Sounds like you might be in a tough time right now. I’ve been in lots of those. First, you can call the suicide prevention hotline at 988, just in case. They’re great to talk to in general just casually, or in a more urgent manner, or even just to sit in silence on the phone while you do what you’ve gotta do and not be alone! There’s ways to text too. Secondly, to answer your question, for me it’s God and my faith that keeps me here and strong and looking to the next day. Also the concept that my challenges are temporary and this phase of motherhood/infancy will pass and there ARE good days and happy moments ahead (and now). I love my husband and my son. Sometimes I’m frustrated or depressed but talking with him helps me, and cuddles, and chocolate. Going for a walk or getting outside, taking a shower and eating some healthy can jump start me into a better mindset. I had really really bad postpartum depression and the only way I got through was constantly calling other moms -

Back to back and walking in circles outside with my baby. I hope you find what that makes you feel better as soon as possible and that this feeling goes away ♥️ I will be praying for you! You are loved and strong! https://namitexas.org/crisis-info/

You just have to remind yourself that this phase of life will change soon. You're in your winter season but spring is just around the corner. Things will get better. Things will get worse. Life sucks alot of the time but there are little things that make it worth it. I'm so glad I wasn't successful when I was 10 because then I got to experience organized sports and my first love. I'm so glad I was unsuccessful at 16 because then I got to meet my future husband. I'm so glad I was unsuccessful at 20 because I got to marry my best friend. I'm so glad I got help because now I have a child who means more to me than anything I've ever known. Therapy works. It's hard work and it's painful and for a while it feels like it doesn't work but it actually does help. I have to stay busy because if I sit still too long things get dark and stormy again. Meds help. There's a stigma but I'd rather be on meds than suicidal.

Absolutely! My son was born 3 months early and there were some hard days during his NICU stay id come back to the hotel after a day at the hospital and feel so defeated during that suppressed alot of my feelings so when we came home ptsd and depression hit me like a 10 ton truck i put myself in therapy and found ways to cope with those feelings. I thought about my son and how it would affect him for his entire life how he might question if it was his fault or why he wasnt good enough for me to stay. Finding yourself after being a mom is a hard journey to take on give yourself some grace and on the darkest day remind yourself that you deserve to be here and this is just a stage in your life that you CAN overcome

For me I would think about the pain and grief I would feel if it was one of my loved ones who ended it all and know I didn’t want to put them through that. I started therapy probably way later than I should have but it helped and also it’s ok to take medication it doesn’t mean you have to be on it forever. I was on low dose antidepressant for about a year. In that time I learned coping skills, prayed, painted, wrote…whatever helped me release my emotions. Things are so much brighter now but I have been to the darkest places so I want you to know there is light on the other side ♥️🙏