in Healing your anxious mind - An Anxiety Support Group 💕

Is anyone else in a narcissist relationship? (Vent)

Hi, I don’t really know how to start this but.. I’ll try my best. I’ve been with my husband for 7 years. I started to realize I was in a narcissistic relationship and I tried to heal him and understand him. I realized he had a lot of childhood trauma. And i believed that perhaps that’s why he’s the way he is..But as I’m getting older I realize that doesn’t really justify how someone treats me.. I’m 25yr old now and I’ve been feeling depressed. I’ve been feeling not good enough. He tells me that I need to wear pounds of makeup to look good..I try to explain how I feel bc I’m a emotional person I cry so easily bc I feel things a little stronger than most people do.. I tell him that I don’t feel good enough and I feel depressed and he’s told me that he’s tired of me always finding ways to “argue” when in reality I’m I don’t feel like me explaining my feelings is me arguing.. he tells me that seeing me depressed makes him want to go be with someone else..and also he’s thrown water at me while arguing. And honestly that makes me feel like 💩 He’s told me that he doesn’t want me physically and it’s bc I always find ways to “argue”. I forgot to mention my mother way just diagnosed with cancer and I feel alone I haven’t accepted the fact my mother has cancer it feels so unreal but physically and emotionally I feel alone. He’s not really there for me. When we argue he says “go to your moms” he’s kicked me out before which that hurts me bc I still remember me walking not knowing where to go and so with no money,no car, and no phone bc he took it away from me bc he says he pays for it so it’s his..I decided to walk to a restaurant.. I remember walking in there and trying to hold in my tears… there’s so much more but I just wanted to vent bc sometimes I feel like I hate myself and some days the depression feels a little stronger than other days ..

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I believe I’m in one with my sons dad. I left him for 3 months with another man who treated so much better with the effort inside his pinky. I’ve lost 10 lbs already depressed again I’ve lost my period from stress. My sons bday is coming up I’ve had to plan the entire by myself I’ve brought up the stress n he denied mine by saying he was stressed by it. I have no license no ged I feel helpless again. I can be around friends more n dress up more but then he always looks at me a certain way or makes everything I wear into sexual. There have been times we were having sex n it started to hurt n he would stop but keep incerting it. Or he got drunk n I have bad teeth so I was like I can’t give u at bj he wouldn’t stop asking I tried to say no by my teeth n I didn’t say yes n I had to give him one to make him stop asking.

firstly I want to send you loads of love. there are some things you’ve e talked about here that are beyond the boundaries of just disagreements / arguing. I think you may benefit from some advice from someone who can talk to you about abuse in a relationship. you are always deserving of love, understanding, and support. big love and i’m rooting for you in life ❤️

@Sitembile thank you

I hope you’re okay lovely; the reality is that it is not ok that you are suffering from this behaviour. The water throwing is NOT ok. I would look into speaking to a domestic helpline/website or maybe even GP if you’re comfortable. You need to take yourself out of that situation. You will be able to get help from the council and emergency accommodation to leave. Sending love xx

Hey Kat, I hope your OK. I really feel for you. Unfortunately narcissists don't change because they actually believe that there's is nothing wrong with them.He is supposed to love you, protect you and treat you with respect and if he isn't doing that then you know what you need to do.I know it isn't easy but you really need to love yourself enough to say NO ONE is going to treat me like this! I left my narcissist husband years ago, it was hard at first but now I feel sooo happy.Its the best thing I've ever done.I have learnt to love myself and I feel so strong.The best thing about it is, me just walking out was the biggest slap my ex ever got! Be strong

Forst off you are enough. PERIOD. He is the one that is lacking and that’s not your fault. I have done my own research are narcissists and one person I’ve found that helped me feel vailidated and strong is Lee hammock (mental healness on YouTube and instagram I think.) he is a self aware narc. But all that to say, from experience and due to the out fact that a narcissists doesn’t think they are the problem. He will NEVER change and you CANT fix him. I know we love so hard and feel so deeply especially if you are emotional attuned like you say. (and they prey on us nurturers, they know we will always be there) He sounds very controlling and abusive. Sounds like he probably is insecure and he’s himself so he wants to make sure he projects that on to you so you feel miserable just like him. It gives him joy to see you suffer and a person like that the only thing you can do is RUN. You are strong! And especially if you don’t have kids yet get out before that complicates things more!

@Kat your posts really made my heart ache. I am so sorry that you are in this situation and you and no one else deserves to be treated that way but you need to believe that yourself and get away from this disgusting human. Maybe start making a plan now of how that could be possible and lean on family or any support you have and I agree if you can speak to a professional about abuse( idk your situation but speaking from my experience most state insurances do cover mental health as well so I see my therapist for free) I think that could be very beneficial because what you described is absolutely not okay. You are strong and so deserving of love and respect please please know that! 💚💚💚

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