Having a the worst timešŸ’”

Iā€™m nearly a year postpartum and I just found out my husband has been talking to other women. The conversations were hidden and saved as male namesā€¦ honestly Iā€™m heartbroken! Iā€™m writing this here because we have been no contact with his mom (her choice because she didnā€™t agree with how weā€™re raising our little one) But ultimately it has put a massive strain on our relationship and caused lots of resentment because he wants his mom to be around and I wonā€™t budge on the boundaries. (She smokes in the house and wants little on to go over there and sleepover, itā€™s a BIG no from me) Although he now admits things after lying about it all, he said that this is partly the reason he starting talking to others. Our little one is still breastfeeding. During the day and multiple times a night. He said if he has to leave she will need to stay with him at his momā€™s. Firstly our little one wonā€™t settle without boob! Itā€™s a comfort! And I canā€™t have her going to his momā€™s with all that smoke! But I donā€™t want to live or be with him anymore. Iā€™m so stuckšŸ˜¢ and devastated! I shouldnā€™t have to share my only child throughout the week because he decided to cheatā€¦ honestly I donā€™t know what to do
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Oh my I'm so so sorry. I definitely think stick to your boundaries, they were made for a reason. However, in regards to him, it seems as though he's blameshifting and attempting to blame you for his fuck ups. This is NOT your fault, your doing, and has absolutely nothing to do with you and his mother's relationship. If he resented you for whatever reason, a MAN would've approached you and had the conversation, not cheated. His behaviour is not ok. Don't let him blame you for HIS mistakes. Not sure where you're from, but usually court is always in favour of a mother breastfeeding, and given the circumstances, it seems as though the court would also be in favour of not allowing your child there with smokers inside a home. I would definitely not give in, hold your ground, set your boundaries, and do what's right by you and your daughter. The decision you make will ultimately affect how your daughter views relationships, imo, don't stay with a cheater. I wish you all the best ā¤ļø

Talk to a lawyer

Iā€™m sorry youā€™re going through this. Mom or not, he should understand your reasons for not wanting to the lo to stay over there and definitely shouldnā€™t have brought other women into it. As Gabrielle said heā€™s blame shifting and donā€™t fall for that

Love, I am really sorry that this is what your situation right now. If a separation is what you want, go for it. Mira scary but itā€™s scarier to think he can give you and std or sti. I think once youā€™re separated if he wants to have his kids over wherever it is he will be living, if itā€™s his mommas you can tell the judge or your lawyer that they smoke a lot and you fear for your childā€™s health. He will need to provide a safe environment to see his child, I think that can also be arranged by a child support agency.

He's right. You'll have to share and theres nothing you can do about it. However, that's not a reason to stay either. So unless you both are gonna go to counseling to work on your relationship, you need to prepare yourself for coparenting!

Itā€™s best to talk to a lawyer. He canā€™t force you to let her live with him and I believe any judge will side with you when it comes to how much access he has currently because she is breastfeeding. But you need a good lawyer to make your case.

Talk to a lawyer. Depending where you live, you may get full custody as mom and he gets visitation. This is commonly the case in MN.

Iā€™d go through the court. They can put things in place so your childā€™s health is at safety from second hand smoke. If your child is breastfed they will most likely only let him see her in a center or at designated times you give since she needs the boob and he doesnā€™t have that for her. Once sheā€™s off the boob they will probably put things in place like him living at his own house with no smoking in the house allowed and other things you want for your child in place if it causes any health issues like the second hand smoke you mentioned x

Thank you for all your comments! I appreciate you all. Just know my week didnā€™t get any better as more lies surfacedšŸ’” canā€™t believe this is my life right now.

I hate this for you I really do ā˜¹ļø please know Iā€™m here for you and support you in whatever your next move is !!

He sounds like such a loser . He can get two jobs and figure it out on his own he doesnā€™t HAVE to move in with his mom. Heā€™s just making excuses and ultimately probably will not be a dad when you guys split ugh

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