TW: cancer

For majority of my relationship with my husband, my MIL and I have not seen eye to eye and I always let her have her way until I realized it disrupted my peace. I reached out to her and told her how I felt and where I was coming from and she dismissed it. We have been no contact for a year (by no contact I mean I stopped reaching out to her and she never reached out to me). My husband still talked with her. We recently found out she was diagnosed with cancer that has spread all over her body and is non-treatable. She was given 3-6 months. How do I best support my husband? I have put our differences aside and reached out to her after she told my husband the prognosis but I barely know her due to our past and not talking for over a year. It almost feels like to me just another person was diagnosed. I am so supportive of my husband and his wishes for the next for months and will let her see her grandson, I just feel like a bad person for not feeling anymore than I already do. I have never been good with death, even my own grandparents, I wasn’t able to feel.

Show your support

Does she live nearby? Do you have family support nearby that can look after your son if needed? I think it’s more lifting the pressure off your oh if he is the first point of contact. If she falls having someone she can contact and a backup. Someone that can help with shopping.l and encouraging her to eat or drink. Getting her some help with personal care when needed. My dad died last year from cancer and it all happened really quickly.

We all feel and experience a death differently. Don’t make yourself out to be a bad person just because you don’t feel the way your husband does. Ask and communicate with your husband how you can better support him during this difficult time. That’s really all you can do. Just try to be supportive as much as possible ❤️

@Karen I forgot to add that. She lives 2.5 hours away. She recently got divorced from my husbands dad (like 2 months ago) and he’s going to live with her and take care of her. I have family right up the road that can take care of my son if we have to leave in a hurry.

Reading this, I thought, yup this is me. Even with my own grandparents I didn’t feel too much. But my viewpoint is that it is what it is and that’s life and death for you 🤷🏻‍♀️ I think it’s totally normal to feel this way but that’s cause that’s how I deal with it and works best for me lol

My dad passed away from terminal lung cancer due to smoking cigarettes over 5 years ago and I was shocked when my mum told me. I was heartbroken too. Myself and my fiancé weren't able to spend my dad's last Christmas with him in person as we lived about 4 hrs away by train at the time. We were also having trouble with our benefits at the time too. My youngest sister and her now estranged wife paid for us to come home for my dad's funeral. I'm still finding it hard now without my dad.

Did you love or know your grandparents?

@Monét yes

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