I fell asleep holding my newborn and I feel so guilty

Aww this has happened to me but luckily my husband saw me nod off. Have you tried co-sleeping? That’s what’s helping me although I don’t actually like co-sleeping but I’m definitely getting more sleep now this way. Another thing I tried last night was putting a hot water bottle in baby’s Moses basket and taking it out before baby goes in.

I could have written this!!! It terrifies me. I did it last night after she didn’t sleep at all :(

please don’t worry, it’s happened and is in the past now. we’re all adjusting to this new life and it’s happened to lots of us already. it’s a big adjustment, don’t be so hard on yourself. take it day by day and i’m sure now that this has happened, it’ll make you more aware next time. keep smiling, you’re doing great and you’re only human! xxxx

Bedsharing has been the only way for me and my first and now me with my second. Look up safe sleep 7. Set your bed up and get some sleep. If you can just get the first stretch you’ll feel a lot better and more able to try and put her in her own bed on the later wakes I used to fall asleep holding my first on the couch which was so dangerous. Me and my partner were doing shifts downstairs and it really didn’t work in the end

I reiterate what’s said above. I co sleep with my little one and I get more sleep. As long as you do it safely then the risks are minimal. I follow happy cosleeper on insta and she has lots of hints and tips on how to safely bed share. I don’t think staying awake and doing shifts is sustainable

Have you tried swaddling? It makes them feel like they’re being hugged x

Cosleeping was how I survived the first 2 weeks. Its all trial and error to start with as you don't know what will work. Definitely set up the bed for safe cosleeping though so if you do nod off it's not a big deal. Shifts didn't work for us either 😂 he's now 2w+4 and I discovered he settles in his next to me crib when he hears his dad talking - luckily his dad is a youtuber so I stuck his videos on the TV and finally got some sleep without cosleeping 🙈

I went through the same with my first, I fell asleep feeding him on several occasions. I would look at the clock, blink, and wake up two hours later. Nothing I did would keep me awake. All the advice at the time was really anti bedsharing but something had to change so we set the bed up to bedshare. Didn't mean he was in with us every night but it meant I could feed him on my side and if I fell asleep he was in a safer position than on my chest or surrounded by bedding. They have since changed the advice as they were finding sleep deprived parents were going to such lengths not to bedshare that they were falling asleep in less safe positions. The Lullaby Trust is a great resource for advice on safe bedsharing. For additional peace of mind we also had a breathing monitor for him. It's not for everyone, isn't necessarily a miracle product or anything, and following safe sleep is still a must, but it gave me a bit of peace of mind and allowed me to sleep a little easier when we were bedsharing.

In addition, do you have a bedside crib or a moses basket? A moses basket has been a game changer for us this time around (we didn't use one with my son), I think it's much cozier and they feel safer. I wonder if that's why she's fine in the pram as it's more enclosed? It still takes my daughter a little time to settle initially in the night but once she's down she does 3-4 hour stints and is much easier to settle than my son ever was after a night feed.

Thanks for the advice everyone. Sadly I don’t think co sleeping is an option for us. My husband is a very heavy sleeper and at multiple times in the past I’ve seen him roll over almost on top of the cat without even realising. Obviously the cat is very quick and able to get away but I don’t think there’s any way I would feel that she is safe in bed with us. I have nothing against co sleeping and don’t judge others who do it at all but I have a friend who was so tired she did actually roll over whilst co sleeping and the worst happened. I really can’t get that out of my head so I don’t think I could do it. We’re feeling totally hopeless at this point.

That's absolutely fair enough and understandable. We set ours up so my son was solely on my side rather than in the middle as I shared the same worries that my partner would roll onto him, but regardless I can understand why it doesn't feel like it's for you. I'm so sorry to hear of your friend's experience ❤️ I do recommend looking into a moses basket if you don't already have one, swaddling helps too, or ensuring the cot is warm before you place her in it (using a hot water bottle, just wait a moment before placing her in as it can get very hot). Sometimes I'll put a fluffy blanket around her lower half (while supervising her) and take it away once she's drifted off - helps the startle reflex and keeps her warm which helps her fall asleep Also when they're cluster feeding and not wishing to go down, I found my partner is better able to settle my daughter in another room. Something about her smelling me makes her refuse to sleep and just want to feed all the time. Once she's down I take over.

I hope you find something that works, sometimes it's trial and error. There's quite a few users on Instagram like littlenestsleep, Lyndsey Hookway, or heysleepybaby who might have some good advice.