Anxious around visitors holding baby
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100% feel this way; and i either don’t let people hold him or if someone has him and i want him back it’s my partners job to say ‘hand him back now please’ don’t feel guilty for not letting people hold your baby even if they are desperate for a cuddle and mean well, it’s your baby, be firm with your boundaries x
Don't feel guilty! You've just grown and carried that little one. I say to people that if he cries I will take him back and that's it. So feel free to put your foot down and say when you want your baby back xx
Yes - felt like this with my first and feel like it with my second! There’s no need for visitors to hold baby, unless of course you want them to/you need to be hands free for a moment. I just don’t offer cuddles to people. Fortunately baby is normally busy feeding or napping anyway!
Yes try not feel guilty, it's normal! your little baby and do what you want. If my LO is sleeping I don't let anyone hold her, if they hold her and she falls sleep I say lay her back down and if someone's got her and I want her back I just got take her back. X
We just leave the baby sleeping in his ‘nest’, no one has asked outright for a cuddle and I don’t offer
Baby girl is 20 days and we had no visitors. I don't see a reason why would we need anyone and feel like it is still very early. Baby got no immunity, it is a colds season, people cough (I hate people coughing haha) When we decide to have someone over I really cannot see letting everyone hold and cuddle her. She is tiny and she doesn't need to be in strangers arms being passed around like a hot potato and then have people's germs and smells on her. I am quite strict when it comes to this and not apologetic.
thank you everyone, this has made me feel a lot better🥺 i never really considered the fact we don’t have to offer him up to people, it just feels expected. I think i will try to ensure im feeding or put him down to sleep in his moses rather than give him to people to hold
Firstly congratulations on your new arrival! To me, this sounds like a very natural instinct, and the only problem I can see is that you might build up guilt around the feeling, which we don’t want 💛 I remember feeling like this a bit in the first couple of weeks and thankfully with the first visitors I had, I felt I could quite frankly say I had mixed emotions when seeing my baby being held by others. I think people understand that. I would say things like ‘I love seeing everyone meet her and hold her, but at the same time I immediately miss her and feel like I want her to just stay in my arms’ - I would laugh a bit (some might chuckle a bit in awkwardness not knowing what to say to that) .. maybe being honest about conflicting emotions will help calm the conflict between any expectations of others and your natural mothering instincts? I found that actually it started a few nice conversations about motherhood and natural instincts and hormones etc. Hope that helps a little 🧡