@Toni I agree with this, counselling may also help too! x
Just wanted to say good on you for acknowledging and wanting to change for your loved ones, the fact you are asking this question shows you are a good mum/partner, and may just need a little guidance with the temper. Take your time to work through it and get the help you need xx
I'd say speak with your partner first to work out what brings out the "temper" and talk through ways you both can help work on it. Don't rush as that can cause kore issues. Take your time and work out the triggers etc and a way you both can help each other