I just need to talk/ vent.
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If you want my honest opinion i dont know if 4 weeks Is enough for you to heal but i know you can do it. The 7 days on will be hard for you guys but it does go by fast especially because you’ll have your hands full. But I do know the 7 days off would be awesome for both you guys. Maybe if you guys agree to it you guys can save more and maybe go on more vacations? But I think the most important this is having a talk with him before he leave about your worry for trust. And if there is anything he can do mentally and physically to show he he won’t mess up again? I know the situation sucks but would the money be worth it for y’all’s family?
@Echoe yes the money would be worth it because he can make almost 3000$ more a month than what he is making at his current job and what I was making at my job put together. So we would definitely be living a more comfortable lifestyle with extra money to do things we want to do. They are willing to work with him and extend his offer for as long as he needs so it shouldn’t be hard if I need him for an extra week or two after the 4 weeks are up, I guess the trust thing is the one thing I cannot stop thinking about, because he will be so many hours away. But he keeps reassuring me that he wont have the time or energy to do anything other than work and sleep because he will be working so much. For perspective he never has actually physically cheated on me but has done some questionable things that has made me think that if he has enough time on his hands he could do it and easily get away with it. Because I allow things I shouldn’t allow.
Trust is so hard to get back after it is broken, your feels are completely valid. You are weighing the pros and cons of the situation and probably driving yourself crazy with overthinking. Going through that trauma does that to you, but if I can offer any advice it would be to give it a chance. Don’t let your fear of past situations make it impossible for you to move forward. You have done nothing wrong and I know it feels like you have to pay mentally for things your partner did. But his actions are a direct reflection of himself not of you. You did everything right, don’t blame yourself for his actions. Prepare yourself mentally and set boundaries with him (almost like a rule book) if he truly wants to make things work he’ll respect those boundaries. Do this ahead of time so you can enjoy your baby and kids and not be overwhelmed. Talk things out now, don’t wait for things to go bad and then try to fix them. It’s a good opportunity for your family it’s worth a try. Hope this helps 😊
Sounds so tough! I’d feel the same if I’m in your shoes! Well if his job is now better paid maybe you could hired a part time nanny while he’s gone to help chores and your other kids so you can focus on the newborn. The trust thing though need to have heart to heart with him, tell him how much it hurt you last time and talk with him about building trust again. Maybe tell him ways that you’d feel loved & valued and ways he can be trustworthy again like frequent check ins etc. I hope all goes well for you and your family!! Hugs
It really is a hard situation but I applaud you for doing what’s best for your family no matter what. My husband is a Wild land firefighter and is always gone so the kids definitely keep me busy and the time he gets when he gets home is always worth it. All you guys can do is try and if this situation doesn’t help yall at least yall know you gave it a shot. I hope everything works out 🤍
That sounds really rough I am sorry. Your concerns all are valid that is a lot to manage by yourself. As someone who is a single parent who has my kids essentially every day 24/7 cuz we homeschool being on mommy duty 24/7 is something that men have no idea how hard it is!! How isolating it is!! You can’t hang out with friends you can’t go many places cuz a newborn and other kids is a lot. If you need to talk you can talk to me 🫂