The first year of Postpartum

I wish the first year of postpartum didn’t feel so lonely. I wish I wasn’t constantly feeling like I’m struggling to breathe. I wish that more people were understanding to how hard it is on the mom, even if she looks like she’s killing it. I know that it’s hard for Dads to but I just wish it wasn’t so damn hard for the moms who have already given so much before giving birth. & even though it’s so hard, I’d do it 1000x over for my son. I’d go through it all if I knew at the end I’d have him. The treatments, the loss, the pain, more loss…in the end it’s worth it. Motherhood is not easy. You worry about so much & usually you’re the last person that you take care of. I’ve changed so much about myself that when I look at old photos they don’t even feel like me. Some things probably needed to change but sometimes I wish I still had a little bit of HER left. I wish I could hug every new mom that’s struggling right now & let her know she’s not alone. She’s not crazy & it’s okay to want a break but also not want to leave your kid. Those two things can exist at once. One day you’ll breathe again. You won’t feel like you’re drowning. You won’t feel this way forever. It’s hard because you’re a good mom who cares.