Upset

I was in the same position. After 11 months he still wasn’t helping with our baby despite me constantly asking him to help. He wasn’t bonding with her at all and he didn’t want to see how much I was struggling. So I finally left him. It made him realize some things, but I’m never going back. Our husbands are adults just like us and they shouldn’t be asked to be fathers. If he is still not changing despite you asking him for help, chances are he never will, or at least as long as he has you to do everything. I feel much better now and he is finally bonding with our daughter during the time he has her. I definitely made the right decision for my daughter and myself. You can message me anytime if you need to vent. Good luck 🤗

I’m in the same boat so message me as well. I have a 3.5 year old and 9 month old and my husband was not helpful after my first was born and also during pregnancy of second and after birth. He thinks I’m the only woman who can’t do it (work, kids, home, etc) and doesn’t understand why dinner isn’t ready or toys everywhere

@Katie it’s sad to see how a baby changes everything. Not sure if our relationship will last, He just isn’t the man/father I thought he would be. For my mental health and well being it might be better to not be together and it makes me sad.

@Maria it’s like some men lack empathy. I know they will never understand how the hormones change us and how much time taking care or a baby takes. I know he works too but he gets to leave and still live basically the same life while mine has changed drastically.

My husband was like this too at first. He didn’t understand nor did he want to. He understands now but only after I stopped trying to explain it to him. I sent articles by drs on postpartum and the effects of it and the effects of after birth on my body. He is supportive now and understands better. He told me he was afraid, he didn’t know if he could understand because he can’t carry or give birth to children. I say this to say if your husband is willing he will make effort and if he isn’t mommas you gotta leave him. It’s not worth more agony

I hear your mama at some point we have to realize that whether the hubby is here or not that our job entails being here for our kids. Although, it gets tough. Having the honor of being able to do it and do it the way you know best is sometimes all we can do. My husband is the same way, so what I do is I give him a task that will help me. Unfortunately, you may have to just keep telling him what you need him to do. My spouse lacks empathy as well, and it has weighed on me heavily. He also works 12 hrs which to me I believe he does on purpose. Stay strong and show him that you can do it, and you will do it with or without him.

Just try to breath it sounds to me like post partum hormones are getting the best of you. It sounds like you are putting too much pressure on yourself as a mother and need to give yourself time and space without thinking it's selfish. He is just letting you settle in, once you are off his back he will feel more inclined to help. ❤️