Dictating how I raise my kids.

Not my MIL but my adoptive parents. I’m 21 years old. My age is the reason I think this is happening. Context. I was doing fine until I moved in with my parents. They offered me to stay in one of their homes as they have many and I said yes. I was doing fine on my own with my little family and they convinced me to move. Now they’re dictating the way I live and the way I raise my kids. I had no idea they’d be staying in one of the homes with me. They were supposed to let me and my partner be alone as that was apart of the deal. They’ve been here four months and I can’t do shit cus it’s their home. Anyway today I played the cockroach song in Spanish on my phone for my baby cus she loves dancing to it. My adoptive dad sees her with my phone and says “oh a two year old with a phone habit” and I just saw red. This has been adding up. I started saying how this is my kid and he’s not raising her I AM. And how he needs to keep his mouth shut when it comes to her. He explodes and yells ! “ I’m an adult and I live here I can say whatever.”Then my adoptive mom tries to step in. I told her to shut up and she starts screaming in front of baby. I said don’t ever scream in front of my kid again. She starts screaming louder. And basically starts gaslighting me into thinking I’m the crazy one for finally sticking up for myself . Any advice. I don’t regret yelling at all. In fact I wish I said more.

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Btw this isn’t the only situation. It probably happens once or more DAILY. Everytime I put her to nap or to sleep they NEVER fail to ask “it’s a little early isn’t it” or “ bedtime already???” Like she goes to bed the same time every night. Their comments are insulting atp. My partner is also pissed off and noticing the snobby remarks as well.

Are you in a position to move out of their property? The first red flag from what you mentioned is they agreed you would be on your own in the property, yet they moved in. If you are able to find somewhere to rent do so, without their knowledge and give them 30 days notice. If you mention anything now, your living arrangements and the environment around your child will become extremely toxic. They are both displaying narcissistic tendencies.

@Rashelle they’re both very controlling. Very much known to be control freaks. We’re trying to move by March but this is just so overwhelming. I forgot to mention we moved out of state. We’re trying to get back to our first home state. It’s hard and my man is saving up now. Hoping for this to be over soon.

@Crystal thanks for the advice I’m thinking of doing just that. The worst part is they think they did nothing wrong. Ig it’s just hurtful being underestimated.

My parents and in laws are like this to varying degrees. My mum is the worst though. I would never live with them. I don't even let my mum stay at my house for more than a few days as it always ends in shouting if I do as she tries to tell me how to raise my own kids all the time. If I don't do what she says when she says, apparently I'm disrespectful?!?! It's my own kids, my own home!! I know you said you are planning to move out soon but in the meantime, I would just put some earplugs in or learn the skill of not listening to them. It's extremely difficult I know, I couldn't do it for more than a few days...but apparently some people can master the art of ignoring, not even in one ear and out the other but not letting it go in one ear at all! I can only do it when I'm on the phone with my mum and I turn the volume down the lowest and put the phone on the table 1m away from me so I can say uhun, at appropriate intervals. She doesn't notice as she just talks non stop mostly about herself anyways!

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