MIL keeps minimising my motherhood struggles

Going incognito to vent about my MIL... My 7m baby is quite a content baby generally, but I had a few complications around the birth & she's had some sleep regression... Standard baby stuff & overall, I don't think I complain a lot! Ever since the birth my MIL has minimised my motherhood struggles. For example, we thought we'd go visit my MIL yesterday & we let her know the day beforehand. But then my baby had a rough night of sleep & I was up for 3h trying to get her to settle. So instead of going to my MILs, we went to a restaurant midway between our houses. When I explained that I'd been up since 3am trying to get her back to sleep, she said 'atleast you're not up every hour!' ...and I just don't really know what to say when she makes comments like this. ...like yes I'm glad I wasn't up every hour but it was still so exhausting that she kept crying every time I put her down that it was driving me to tears too... Similarly when I gave birth I had an emergency c section & I found the pain from the surgery in the couple of weeks so horrendous. And her comments were 'atleast I didn't have an episiotomy!' I think she's probably always made these sorts of comments in conversation about other topics, but it's never bothered me before. But now I'm finding some things really hard, it's really grating on me that she makes comments like this rather than empathising... ...any thoughts on what I should say next time she makes a comment like this? Which will probably be next time I see her!

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I would ignore her to be honest My ex MIL is the same way.. and believes she had it worse no matter what even though it was 30 years ago lol I wouldn’t bite to her and id never explain yourself to her, you don’t owe her anything

I agree with above, just sounds like she’s mocking you and wants you to bite on the bait just to cause an argument. I’ve got some members in the family who like to think they have it worse lol, not just about pregnancy or childbirth but in general. Does my head in 😂 I’ve always just said “yeah ,so what? we’ve had different experiences, doesn’t make mine any less than yours” they eventually just shut up 😂

She's looking for a reaction. Don't give her one - just ignore the comments. Treat her like the child she is, and do not reward stupid comments with a response

I just shrug and reply “everyone’s experience is different”

Next time she says something like this, just say "I wasn't aware motherhood is a race to the bottom for who has it worse"

I think ignoring the comments is hard to do… and you will most likely boil over with the comments playing on your mind. I can relate as I have comments from various people saying at least this or that, rather than acknowledging what I’m saying or how I’m feeling. Try expressing to her how her comments make you feel, you’re reaching out to be heard but rather than empathy you may be seeking you’re getting dismissed and it’s not helping. She may not realise her comments are making you feel and maybe if she’s aware she may not do it any more x

Wish I knew what to say back too - every time I complain about something, my MIL always says how much harder my SIL has it. Some MIL just suck

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