C section sadness/thoughts

I’m so happy I had two c sections :) never had the urge to have a “natural” birth.

I’m going on my second c-section and I wouldn’t have it any other way! I understand where the guilt comes from I was told many times that I was taking the “easy” way out but all that matters is a healthy baby and a healthy mama 🥰

I've had 2 c sections one emergency and one elective. I'm so glad that I did. I am terrified of doing a vaginal birth.

I had an emergency c section as well and I felt the same thing. Barely started bonding with my baby when she was 3 months. Now she’s about to be 9 and we’re closer than ever, I got over it.

Girl i decided to csection by choice cuz i didnt want vaginal birth. I did not want vaginal birth…. baby going through down there.. Its personal thing. Plus its better than traumatic birth experience. My sister had the worst one and she influenced me a lot. Anyways do not feel that way. Whats done is done. You cant go back and undo. Just be proud because you should be! My scar is so minimal and is soo below underwear line honestly, yours will get better too. A lot of women do csection by choice thesedays.

I didn’t have a c section but it is totally normal to be sad that you didn’t have have the birth you dreamed of. You are 100% valid in feeling disappointed. You did the best you could with the information you had at the time and the circumstances. You are still a wonderful mama and it’s ok to grieve the birth you didn’t get to have. I’m not sure what the reasoning was for your c section but I think a lot of our medical system sets up women for failure in the very beginning of pregnancy. If this is something that really continues to bother you there are birth grief /trauma groups out there you can look up that may be beneficial to you! Sending hugs and wishing you the best!

My c section was awesome but I definitely wanted an all natural birth and agree that it impacted my bonding

Hi, FTM and 2 months PP also . I was mentally preparing myself for an unmedicated natural birth- practicing breathing techniques & doing all the stretches. My baby was breech my entire pregnancy and I couldn’t do an ECV for other reasons so by 36 weeks I had mentally accepted that a c section was going to be my journey & needed to happen to keep baby safe. Still, even with the acceptance I wish it could have been different. My doc took a bit to stitch me up so I remember laying on the OR table wishing I could be holding my baby (we got a bit of skin to skin before her and dad went on to get her checked). I hear stories of the delivery high mommas get after giving birth & am jealous I didn’t get to experience that. Even the other day when I finally got my “push present”, I was triggered by the word push. All that to say, I’m with you momma. You’re not alone. I just try to remind myself that baby and I are safe/healthy & that’s bc of the c section. Sending you light & love 🤍

May I ask why did you get the epidural if you didn't want it? I also had an epi then an emergency C-section. To answer your question: I feel like I gave birth twice: I was in labor for three days and then pushed for four hours, then C-section. So no I don't think I missed anything.

I had a c section but I don’t feel I missed out on anything. I’ve watched a few natural births on YouTube since having my baby and when I see the women screaming in pain I’m like why would I miss that? We both got the same end result, a beautiful healthy baby. But that doesn’t mean your feelings aren’t valid too. Everyone’s journey is different. Hopefully you can have a VBAC if you want in the future

@Csilla tbh I felt pressured into getting an epidural. I told the nurse I didn’t want one but she said “oh by 3-4 cm you’re going to want one. The contractions are going to be very painful.” And she said that after 4 cm it’s too late to get one. I was in so much pain during the contractions but my hubs would rub his warm hands on my lower back and the contractions seemed very tolerable when he would do that. But then I got asked if I wanted the epidural and again “they’re going to get very intense” so I just went with it 😟😭

Yeah, it was much different for me. I was hallucinating from the pain when I asked for the epi and it was another 24hrs from that point until the C-section.

And this is what I mean hospitals set women up for failure especially when you really want to be empowered to do a unmedicated birth. I’m sorry they pressured you. They shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry they didn’t listen to your wishes. Unfortunately *most* hospitals and OBGYNS are not taught how to support women to give birth unmedicated. 😢

@Katya yes! Exactly😭😭

@Christie yeah I definitely feel like “maybe if I spoke up it would’ve been different” because I truly felt like I could’ve done it if my husband was helping through it. But then again, nurses should help us out of fear and respect our wishes. I definitely felt fear mongered ☹️ @Csilla my birth went similar, my baby’s head was down and ready but I wasn’t dilating “fast enough” they also tried having me push at around 9cm and I just couldn’t feel anything and having a really hard time pushing for that reason so the dr said I needed a c section also because my cervix was swollen it wouldn’t allow baby to push through and would also cause trauma to baby

Ugh I’m so sorry. This really sounds like a classic case of the “cascade of interventions” that really caused the c section and the major lack of respect for your wishes is where most of the grief comes from too I can’t believe the nurse just fueled fear instead of saying “okay no epidural let’s try other pain management methods and positions to help” Your body is capable of birthing your baby just as it was capable of growing your baby. You were just pressured and fear mongered into many different interventions that you didn’t really want and that is incredibly upsetting. You have the right to be angry at your doctors and hospital for not respecting your wishes. But don’t be angry or sad towards yourself. You did not do anything wrong and it will get better overtime. I think just speaking out what you are upset with is healing in itself. 💕

I'm sorry you had a bad experience. They even turned down the epi for me at the end when I asked so I could feel the contractions. I mean my birth wasn't what I expected but I was in charge of the situation as much as I could. If I have another baby I would skip the 3 day labor and go straight for the C-section.

I tried for over 10 years with IUI’s and IVF to have my first baby. I never thought I’d get the chance to experience pregnancy much less have a baby. I had a scheduled C-section at 36 weeks due to placenta previa. I literally only cared that he arrived safe and healthy, it didn’t matter to me which way that was-because honestly, either way was terrifying. He’s a healthy and wonderful 17 month old who I absolutely adore and he would be this way no matter which way he arrived. I don’t like to use the word thankful because I think it’s overused, but I am so thankful I have him. I am not missing out on anything because I have him!

I did not have a c-section but I wanted a completely unmedicated birth and didn’t follow through. It’s hard not to compare myself to people who were able to do it naturally so I think your emotions are completely valid. Luckily I had doulas helping me understand that everything is a goal but may not be the case and to prepare for everything. I will say we came up with a plan for if I needed a c-section but what we didn’t plan for was baby needing to be in the nicu. That opened up another wave of sadness and wondering if I did something wrong. I’ve since come to terms with the fact that not everything is avoidable but I’m trying to do everything now to strengthen and prepare my body and mind for my next birth to hopefully have it as I want(but still be okay if it doesn’t go as planned)

Thank you to everyone who shared their story and experiences! It really helped coming to the conclusion that a healthy baby & momma is the end goal no matter the method we go through. 🖤