Feeling stuck
There is so much to explain im going to try to shorten it as much as possible.
Basically I regret getting married a few months ago and did it more so because I thought it was the right thing to do for the baby, I was freshly postpartum, and my parents were practically harassing me about it. My dad refused to see the baby and would’ve disowned me if I didn’t get married. I didn’t stand up for myself, I didn’t listen to my own feelings. Keep in mind my relationship had been abusive and I never told anyone. I just recently realized the abuse I went through by talking with my therapist about everything.
I left him once, we were living at my parents house and he got physical with me one night and I told him to leave after that. But it was very hard living alone at my parents because my mom is very narcissistic and she was causing drama almost every day. She kept wanting me to leave. I lost so much weight due to the stress I have never weighed so little in my life. I didn’t have any help either nobody to even hold the baby for me.
I couldn’t take it anymore so I found a little seasonal apartment which my dad helped pay for. Me and my husband were about to go through with the divorce and he was about to move away but I asked if he would like to move in to this apartment together. I don’t have any friends to ask so this was my only option.
I feel like this was a mistake but I felt desperate. He thinks we are back together in a relationship. I feel so miserable being around him. I’m so scared to tell him I don’t want to be together anymore because I don’t know how he’s going to react he can get very petty. And I don’t know if I can deal with the stress right now. Things haven’t gotten physical again between us but he has called me names, slammed doors, etc.
Idk what I’m gonna do. I hate feeling stuck in a place with someone who doesn’t know how to treat me right. Also I haven’t had a job and have been struggling to find one because the only person I have to watch the baby is his mom. And I just want to cry thinking about putting him in a daycare for hours every day. Idk.
I kind of just want to say screw it and tell him how I feel because I’m so tired of feeling trapped in this relationship. But idk what would happen.
You need to leave. I know that's hard but you and the baby don't deserve that. Does his mom know he's abusive?