in England
Feel like a horrible mum
I feel like a horrible mum, i am already 16 weeks pregnant, and i still can’t feel any connection or excitement for my baby… i just feel like i am a spectator and just watching things happen and the pregnancy advance. From the beginning i didn’t feel anything and i gate myself for that, i kept telling myself maybe at the beginning i was just surprised and soon it will feel real and i would be as excited as i was for my first pregnancy, but nothing happened. Then today we found out that we are having a boy and i could see my husband feeling super happy and try to share the joy with me, but all i could i feel was “ oh that’s good” kinda emotion, and tried to pretend to match his happiness.
I honestly don’t know what to do or think, i hate being like this, i feel embarrassed and ashamed talking about it. I am a good mum to my first child, i am a loving and kind one but i just can’t feel anything for this one, i keep praying that it’s just a phase and soon i will wake up and all the love and emotion i have been waiting for finally are here…
Sorry for the long text, i just needed to talk about it a bit, thank you 🙏🏻
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It's really normal. For some It's instant and for others it's once they're here. But that doesn't make it easy. Focus on taking care of yourself, especially if you feel robbed of that feeling, and trust the bond will come.
I didn’t until he was here. We had a previous loss and i don’t know if it was just because of that. Weird analogy but I found it like one of those songs that grows on you until it’s your favourite 🤷🏻♀️
@Cal I actually love that analogy
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Some women don't feel that love until baby is placed on them after birth, Don't be to hard on yourself the love will eventually come everyone's different. For the first 12 weeks I refused to "bond" with the pregnancy for different reasons (multiple losses couldn't get attached) you have first kicks to feel etc I wouldn't worry too much and if you're really struggling in a few weeks speak to your midwife/doctor i can guarantee you're not the first woman who's felt this way and definitely won't be the last. Be gentle on yourself!❤️