I don’t know if you have friends or family or babies dad around? Can you ask for a an afternoon off a week or something and have someone you trust come help? I understand needing the break and I don’t know your financial situation but I have a nanny that comes one day a week for 6 hours so I can have a breather. I have mental health conditions so the break is needed for me to function and be the best parent I can be. It’s not bad or wrong that you need a break but having thoughts of wanting to hurt yourself to get the break is concerning. Please go to your GP for support. May be that you need to therapy to explore this or an assessment for post partum mental health concerns. I hope you figure it out, sending love x
Hey, what you’re experiencing is an intrusive thought of something like ‘if I fell down the stairs at least I could spend a couple hours in hospital for a bit of a break’, which is actually a common and throwaway thought a lot of mums have at some point - I saw this on a podcast called happy mum happy baby. It’s also actually a trend on tiktok where people pretend to contemplate it too, so the thought, however silly, has crossed people’s mind! Because you’re also feeling guilt about your throw away thought, and have the urge to confess it, that’s a sign of OCD. Postpartum OCD is very common and makes you obsess about something minor like a quick thought and feel bad about it, which you don’t need to. You didn’t hurt your foot on purpose, and it’s totally normal to want a break. I often count down the hours until nap or bed time because being a mum is hard! 😅 There is lots of support for OCD out there if you feel that’s what you may have and may want the help. My dms are open 🤍
What kind of help do you need ? X