in Mamas with depression, anxiety, and other mental health disorders

Antenatal and postpartum depression and anxiety

I had severe antenatal depression and anxiety during my pregnancy. I never had a baby shower. I hid all my pregnancy scans. I thought after pregnancy it would get better cause they changed my medication. It did get better but now it’s come back full force and all I feel is guilt. My baby won’t sleep in his cot despite everything I try. He is so clingy and cries all the time every time I put him down and I blame myself cause during my pregnancy I was so anxious. It is draining cause he constantly wants to be held. Ive been crying so much recently and again I feel guilty cause I don’t want my baby to see me sad so I smile at him holding my tears back. I can’t sleep or eat properly due to the anxiety. I feel like a bad mum, and wife. Then i started getting thoughts that my baby and husband would be better off without me and I have been thinking of ways I can do this successfully. Ive been keeping this from the mental health team. It’s not fair on my baby to have a depressed and anxious mother like me. I am so sleep deprived. I don’t have much family support. One of my parents passed away and other one well lets just say he isn’t much of a dad. I cant speak to my husband he doesn’t understand. Has any other mums been through this and does it get better because I am so tired?

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It does get better♥️. Pregnancy and postpartum are so difficult, and I struggled immensely with my mental health during both phases. It was a dark time. Slowly but surely the light at the end of the tunnel becomes brighter and things start to feel okay again. That being said, therapy helps so much. Be transparent to your mental health team..no one’s there to judge you, only help you. You obviously are a good mom because you want to be the best you can for your baby..and you will get there. Your mental health comes first. Hang in there, you got this. Always remind yourself that this too shall pass and you will be okay again..even when it feels like it’s impossible.

I went through the same thing, and it does get better. It was tough, but I was amazed at how much life changed once I started feeling better. A friend who lost her mum to suicide really pushed me to work on myself. She told me she needed her mother, and while it may sound harsh, she said it was a selfish thing to do. That perspective helped me. She said she always wished she fought to be better . Talk to your partner they care deeply about you and don’t want to lose you and you are the most precious person to your baby. You’re an incredible mum, fighting for your baby, which is amazing. Try to be the person you’d want your baby to grow up to be. You’re needed and you are loved and you are important .You’re doing great, and you’ve got this!❤️❤️

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