MIL making everything about her

I’ve finally snapped. I spoke to my sweet, sweet, delusional love about how his mother constantly feels the need to make herself a victim in everything, particularly when she is being forceful about something we have said no to or overstepping a boundary. “She’s not that bad. There are worse Mother In Laws”. Excuse me? “Not that bad”. I had to remind him of several things she had done, including telling me I could not visit my family because she needs to be with my baby. When I went, she told my DL to tell me to go back to their house so that she could be with my baby. I have had nothing but messages from him on her behalf about how sad she is that she is being kept at a distance from me, how selfish it is, that I should let her have her way so she is happy. No. Absolutely not. I’ve been having anxiety attacks from things she does and says. I cannot do it anymore. She is controlling of everyone to the point she makes you feel like you’re in the wrong for wanting space. I cannot stand it. I feel unhappy with her constant intervening in my relationship. The fact that my DL thinks any of this is acceptable is beyond me. My own mother, who I am not in contact with, has only ever been respectful even though she rarely sees my baby. There is zero drama with her when it comes to my child. Yet my MIL feels the need to always be in my space or dictating how I do things, messaging me in a way that suggests I am the reason her son doesn’t want to see her, etc. Honestly, I am considering getting a legal document to prevent her contacting me at all.
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Why are MILs like this?? I’m so sorry.

My Mil is like this too, I realised she is a narcissist down to a T. And the more I read up about this the more I realise she’s an emotionally immature toxic mom. Unfortunately these people don’t change as they have a habit of making it all about themselves and hate it when boundaries are set but all you can do is try and keep your distance to protect your own mental health. Sorry you are dealing with this, it really is emotionally exhausting.

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