Feels like I have to choose
So I have three kids two with my ex and one with my current. There was an incident at my house last year before I had my third baby where my ex came and kicked down my door and we had to go to court for it and they gave us a temporary protective order and he wind up moving. I got a call today from my ex mother-in-law and she said that he is trying to get the kids legitimized and a lawyer to go to court for child support so he can start seeing the kids again because he hasn’t seen them for about a year now. My current boyfriend is military/law enforcement and he does not want us or my two kids to be around him because he’s dangerous and he does not know what he’s capable of doing. I feel bad because I know my kids want to see their dad but at the same time I know if I send them or allow them to go with him he’s going to fill them up with lies and make my kids turn against me. And I know it’s going to change behavior wise with them when they come home so my current boyfriend whenever I bring it up of the kids going to eventually have to see him. He gets upset and he’s like what about the family we’re trying to make together and makes it seem like I have to choose his side. my kids father is dangerous towards me in situations but when it comes to his kids, he doesn’t do those type of things but still I’m not sure what to do. if I allow the court to say, he can see the kids I might lose the current family and he will leave me because it puts his job in jeopardy.
So does that mean I fight so I can have the current family I’m trying to make now or do I allow my kids to go see their dad because I know they really want to?
Show your support
Whatever you do, don’t give him ammunition. Don’t give him room to use your own words against yourself
You protect your kids. Supervised visits. Not with yourself preferably, a third party. You keep him at a distance if you can. You can be sure your ex will try and use the kids just to hurt you. He will cause problems and probably file for custody himself.
Doesn’t seem right ur current partner is trying to keep the kids from their dad that’s not fair nor is it his choice :/
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You keep every piece of evidence you can get. Text messages, incidents, reports, you name it. Anything you have that’s evidence of his bad character. You let him hang himself. Let him run his mouth, to the lawyer, to the judge, whoever he talks to. Then you say nothing as you watch them sieve through every piece of evidence you have. Record phone calls, conversations anything that can be used against him. Keep a log of how much he’s sent you for child support and every miss payment he’s made. Let him hang himself with his own words and sit back as they read every piece of damning evidence you can find.