worried ..
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Solidarity! It’s normal, and super hard. They’re forming opinions and pushing boundaries and learning about reactions. I believe they are checking in a way, “Do you still love me when I do _____?” You can definitely set boundaries and redirect, “you cannot hit me. If you are going to touch me or others you need safe hands. If you feel like hitting something you can hit this pillow (or whatever).” I find it helps me to figure out what they’re really asking for. A hug, a snack, a kiss, to play with them. And sometimes I think it’s to find their autonomy as well. Respecting their body boundaries (within reason and safety, of course) is so important. My daughter has been refusing 95% of hugs and kisses, and just barely started being more reciprocative of them again. They’re fighting for some semblance of control in their lives. Big feelings in a tiny body! I’m sorry it’s so hard. I’ve definitely been there. I have a 4 yo boy and an 18 month girl, I feel you! You’re doing a great job!
@Hannah oh my gosh yess , it hurts so bad bc “little girl why are you hitting me when mommy loves you so much ? 😭
@Nicole well this definitely makes sense 😭 i get on to her i really do but she’s just seems to get even more mad and through tantrums so i just stay quite sometimes until it passes. but aggg thank you so much for the reassurance 🫶🏽
Yes, every small inconvenience gets an enormous response. Mine will throw themselves to the ground and scream this guttural primal scream like their life is in jeopardy. She will hit occasionally, but it’s not her go-to. She had been batting at us/hitting for quite some time just trying to figure out her body, so we have said repeatedly things like “ouch, hitting hurts” or “touch nicely” or “gentle” and she will correct herself and pat our heads and give us a kiss. There is a sweet and empathetic baby buried in the toddler rage… I just don’t see it as often because she is having a meltdown every five minutes it seems
It’s normal, they’re expressing their emotions in the ways they know how especially if they don’t have words yet. When she does the mean things, tell her NO and that you will have to put her down or leave the situation if she keeps doing it. Then follow through. She will learn pretty fast that hitting and pulling hair won’t get her what she wants
Try making it about the victim (you) and say, “I won’t let you hit me” and if she does it again repeat, “I won’t let you hit me,” and remove yourself (even if it’s moving to the other couch cushion). This has worked well with my 18 m/o daughter and bonus points for teaching boundaries 😄
@Jordania il definitely gonna try this ! 😭 yes she’s been so bad lately and throwing tantrums literally every single time she doesn’t get what she wants ! i repeatedly have to tell her “be nice” “no hitting” but nothing works .. at the parks she also gets mad if things don’t go her way or if i tell her she has to share .. she’s a mean one 😭😭 I hope it’s just a phase bc I want my sweet baby back 🥺
Totally get it. I’ve been reminding myself ~repeatedly~ that she isn’t GIVING me a hard time, she’s HAVING a hard time. This mantra is the real MVP and has gotten me through lots of WTF moments lol
I completely understand you. My 18 months old is the same and started being like this before he turned 12 months🤣 lol. Well, it just got worse. It wasn’t always like this. But it is a phase we have to go through. 🥲 but you need to stay firm, tho. Tell her “no” every time she does something you don’t like. Toddlers/children learn through repetition. 🫶🏼
My dude is like this too on and off. I'm with you, when he hits me my heart sinks. He typically won't calm down until he has some alone time in his room. I've heard it's normal but it definitely sucks in the meantime