Marriage
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Also crushing guilt and shame come from satan the accuser, not God. God will tell you truth with love (conviction).
Hey, Mama! First of all, it's awesome that you're growing in your relationship with the Lord. You are right that the Holy Spirit convicts is of sin. He does so because He loves us and wants what's best for us! There is no such thing as getting married in God's eyes. His Word says to obey the laws of the country you live in, which means being married in the eyes of the law in order to be married in the eyes of God. Is your fiance a Christian?
I also agree that God is convicting you. That said, before rushing to marriage it’s important that you pray and fast about this. Marriage is a huge step. It’s important that you understand what you’re about to embark on. Since you said he’s your fiancé, I’m assuming he would be on board to marry you legally. To be married in God’s eyes means you would need to be married legally. But first, is he a Christian? Meaning he is also seeking to live for God and do things according to the Bible? Because the Bible does NOT encourage us to marry unbelievers. So if you go ahead and marry him and he’s not saved, you are taking full responsibility of marrying an unbeliever and the consequences of disobeying the word in that regard. Also, have you prayed and asked God if this is the man you are meant to marry?
@✨Wis 🇭🇹 Yea he accepted Jesus Christ as his Lord and savior and I’m helping him each and every day with Following Gods words but he does struggle with somethings that he needs to get better with. I will say that he doesn’t read his Bible yet(because he says he has ADHD and he likes when I read it to him…which I disagree with and told him to pray and seek God to help him stay focus and read his word) but I have been telling him that it’s Gods word and his instructions in there and he seems to be getting curious and wanting to do that but he doesn’t right now. He also has said that he wants to prepare to be the right husband for me before we get married of course and I want to prepare to be the right wife for him biblically also. I have asked God and have prayed about it but nothing really never happened except a few I guess arguments but Idk how God will tell me if he’s my person or not by my own opinions getting in the way.
@Kenedi Yes he believes in God but he does struggle with reading his word and certain sins. I do feel like he is getting more curious and starting to do a little better with following The Lords word and Truth but I’m still trying to help him.
I encourage you to both seek premarital counseling with a pastor. It will help you prepare but your fiancé especially needs to be mentored by a man. He’s called to be the head and you teaching him will only go so far especially when he’s not in his Bible. Pray for his desire for God to grow and desire for the Bible to grow also! Watch teachings on marriage, on growing in Christ that will help you both. Jerry Flowers, Vlad Savchuk have really awesome content on marriage and also on growing spiritually like how to study the Bible, how to go deeper in prayer and more on YT. You both need to be discipled. Doing this by yourselves makes it difficult and makes the process take longer when there are teachings & people of God who can just teach you. So if you have a local church you go to, ask for discipleship & premarital counseling. As far as God telling you if this is your husband, God will be clear on giving you multiple confirmations whether it’s yes or no. Fast about it
@✨Wis 🇭🇹 I agree. How should I introduce that to him because I had a friend who said that and I didn’t mind it but he didn’t want to do that. I just don’t want to dump everything on him at once and feel stressed or unmotivated. Also since we are moving in a week or so should we seek for a church in his hometown there then get help? I just want to do everything correctly without him feeling force or pressure
First continue to pray for him and for the Holy Spirit to convict him. You’re gonna need to pray a lot for him if that’s the man you want to marry. If he’s truly saved and he has the Holy Spirit, he will want to seek God. I just hope he didn’t accept Christ just to be with you because unfortunately a lot of men fake it for their woman and then once married, they’re basically unbelievers and then women are stuck married to a man they thought was saved but isn’t and THAT is tough. (Definitely learn about divorce too. Once married, the Bible allows divorce only for a few things) wait until you move to start looking for a church and go there together. Hopefully by that time he will want to do the counseling. If he truly wants to be a good husband and a man of God then that’s what he’ll want to do and you shouldn’t be afraid of making that clear. In the meantime, continue to grow in God. Your walk with God shouldn’t be affected by his.
https://www.youtube.com/live/TU78q4096VU?si=2UqQS8dyOKVoOZ2J Here’s a really good teaching that I believe will help you. In the meantime, also make sure you are abstaining from sex as fornication is a sin and you do not want sin to be the foundation of your marriage. Ask God for strength to abstain. I pray it goes well for you and that God will give you clarity!
@✨Wis 🇭🇹 Thank you you’re so wise and your faith is beautiful. God bless you❤️
Wis said everything I would have and more, so I'll just say I've prayed for you and hope all goes well for you as you continue to grow in the Lord, Sister 💕
@Heather 🌻 This is not true. Sex before marriage does not equal marriage. If it did, there would be no such thing as fornication, which the Bible clearly states is a sin. You are telling a sister who is clearly being convicted of sin by the Holy Spirit that she is not sinning. This is dangerous for you as you could be accountable before God for leading others astray. Romans 13:1-2 Everyone must submit to governing authorities. For all authority comes from God, and those in positions of authority have been placed there by God. So anyone who rebels against authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and they will be punished. ...
... When there are legal ways of going about things, that's what we must do. Customs and traditions have changed since Biblical times, but even then there were customs and traditions that were followed, and the government knew about marriages (such as Joseph going "to be taxed with Mary, his espoused wife.") Also - why would anyone have been engaged in the Bible? Why not just have sex and be one and be married? In Bible times, getting engaged was legally binding. You could not break off the engagement without doing so legally. But you could not have sex until the (legally) official wedding. It is simply not true that people can skirt around the government and be married in the eyes of God.
We are not perfect before God, officiating things is not going to make you more spiritual before God after that, christianity is from the heart. You are probably feeling convicted because you are learning things in the light of God’s word and now you want to get married officially. The Spirit of God will never give us pressure to do things when we do not have the capacity to or make us feel guilty to the extend of stressing hope you can be able to separate your emotions and the Spirit to avoid becoming religious. if you want to get married let it be a decision you both make understanding its a life commitment not because you want to tick a box based on your personal convictions. l am assuming its already part of your culture to move in together as fiancé’s for even many years & have children. In some cultures once you move in you are considered as husband and wife. Only Jesus will be perfect in this life time
I lived with my hubs for years before marriage. In that time we stopped everything sexual and committed our bodies to God, for two years! Not everyone has it black&white...sometimes stuff gets gray, but you can be gray without being blurry...you can still bring it into sharp clarity and say...we live together, but...this is the boundary lines per God (until marriage). Nothing sexual. Honor Him right where you are, where that'll be.