Dealing with a parent of your child with mental health issues

I dealt with that. He kept his mental health untreated to the point he became so paranoid he fed himself a lie and became violent towards me. Please be careful. Both of those diagnosis of mental illnesses need to be treated and contained (not saying every person with mental illnesses will become violent or are dangerous). But, when you have someone who completely believes lies it becomes unpleasant and hard for others to work with them or peacefully coexist.

@Amanda I'm sorry you had to go through that.We are not together but he sees his daughter so I'm around him during pickups and drop offs. I asked him about taking medicine and he places the blame that women are the reason that he has that condition.smh. He hasn't been violent toward me but has been disrespectful when he gets upset.

my husband has bipolar type 1 & right before i got pregnant with our daughter he had the worst manic episode of his life & almost killed himself & me & it was the worst time in our lives. MEDICATION AND THERAPY! literally once he was finally able to be stabilized from the antipsychotics it was night and day in mood/behavior/etc….. like i never thought i would be here today saying all this, but idk if he would’ve ever accepted he needed help at that level if his episode wasn’t so bad (like we both have PTSD from it) but regardless, he is sober, stable & happy and an amazing father and husband all around. it’s vital for bipolar 1 especially to have proper med management that works for them. i hope this helps & pls feel free to dm if you want to chat!!!!

bipolar (especially when manic) chemically makes a person not themselves, so even if you know HE would never be violent, i promise you mania doesn’t care about that & things like that are out of his control unmedicated. that’s why the disorder can be so debilitating because people seriously can destroy their lives if unmedicated long term & it’s entirely out of their control. the way my husband describes it, he said “it feels like someone took control over my body, fucked my life up, and now i’m back to suffer from it”. the swings from mania & depression can be really important depending on if bipolar 1 or 2, so figuring that out too might help navigate coparenting

@pierce He refuses to take medicine. His mom was the one who said he has bipolar.Mostly he repeats stuff over again, can't let go of the past and he said he hasn't slept for days sometimes.Also the lying is a big one. I don't live with him but still deal with him because of my daughter.Thanks.

not sleeping for days is a tell tale sign of mania / manic episode & honestly if he refuses medication, you might have to take it to court unfortunately. i know you might know him, but i cannot stress enough someone is NOT themselves when manic and that alone is a risk to your daughters safety. it’s important too he is on something specifically to control the mania, because things will only get drastically worse. like being unmedicated bipolar doesn’t just “go away” or get better overtime. unless there’s a way you could get his mom to talk to him about medication & therapy FOR bipolar disorder, i don’t know if the risk of what could happen is worth jeopardizing your daughters safety

but also i don’t know him or the exact situation, but what i do know is that mania / bipolar mania will make a person not who they are whatsoever and i don’t mean that lightly…. like mania is selfish & destructive & its primary goal is to cause chaos and harm. & he chemically in his brain cant control that, that’s why the only way to fix it is medication & therapy

@pierce I understand. I let him see his daughter but we don't have mandated visitations.So it's on me when I let him see his daughter. more recently that he's been seeing her more often but like this weekend he didn't see her because we had other plans. I always Protect my daughter so that's not an issue.Her siblings are there that's one reason she liked to go over there. I was just asking advice because I'm trying to include him in her life and her siblings.

i completely understand! you’re already doing the best with what you can & in control of, i was only trying to stress the severity of how it can get quickly, but i’m really glad that’s not an issue! maybe if it would be easier to contact the mother instead? but also if that’s worse then maybe idk 😭 sorry i wish i could be more help

TRIGGER WARNING of abuse ‼️ I second what Pierce has stated. Not sleeping is usually signs of an episode. I also was not with my son’s father when he attacked me. We were just coparenting and everything happened during a drop off. I lived in a state that doesn’t take things like that seriously. A judge had me continue his visitation he then convinced himself my son needed to lose weight and go through “trials to become a man”. Starved my son for the entire visit, made him run on a treadmill until he passed out, and when he cried he then threw my son down the stairs. My son was just about to be 2 years old and still suffers from an eating disorder and has therapy. Just because you are only coparenting and not together doesn’t always mean it’s still a safe situation for either you or you LO. Courts can make it make it mandatory for the other parent to seek treatment and mental health evaluations in order to have access to your daughter. Be safe especially with your baby. I wish I did..

@pierce Yes, thanks for understanding. I have a good relationship with the mom,maybe an option. I appreciate what you shared.

@Amanda I'm really sorry.🙏My daughter is 14,he was dating someone before so maybe was easier to deal with him,he loves to eat so So that's not an issue with the food. But I was thinking of contacting a lawyer cuz he keeps lying on me and maybe they can help in some way.