Can life please give me a second to enjoy being a mom please?

My son was born November 20th 2024, September 2024 my husband’s grandmother passed away, I had a c section, it took 5 stabs to the back for them to get the spinal tap right and me shaking in pain, almost died on the operating table because I bleeding so much but I lived, got up to postpartum floor to turn around and start to hemorrhaging and almost needing a blood transfusion, I was told by the nurse that was in charge of my discharge that my score half way through filling out the postpartum depression screening test that it would be too much work for her to get me a consult to talk to someone and asked if I could just decline the test so she can throw it out, I have had 2 different hospitals stays of 12 days each, I have had over 15 different iv lines in my arms, I have had to have a 4 and a half hours of robotic surgery to take out abscess due to an infection due to the surgeon not being clean in my c section and causing me a massive septic infection, I have just been given a referral to MOFFITT cancer center because they think I could have a tumor on my pancreas, I have been in the emergency room every 2 weeks due to pain, chills, fevers and headaches, they now want me to see a neurologist because they think I could have silent seizures, my grandmother just passed away on Monday, just got told one of my aunts crashed her car and is in the hospital. I am so sick of blood tests and scans and hospitals I’m so sick of being in pain I’m so tired of this endless hell, I’m sick of everything hurting in my body, I’m sick of doctors with no answers, I’m sick of pills, but his smile, his laugh, his love, is my sunshine to keep me alive. I just am sick of surviving and being able to live without pain…