Feeling like shitty mom

Has anyone lost their temper and think to them self that u r a bad mom Ex: I lost my temper badly and accidentally pulled my daughter's hair badly to where she has like a tiny bald spot n I feel so ashamed of my self and hubby mad at me don't blame him I already blame myself for it but what r ways to work on my issues this is their first time I ever since anything like this! I normally spank or walk away an then come back but I dont know what happened I do however blame it on smoking the green maybe I just can't no more and this was my first hit since January 30.. And I have no one to talk to or spend time with n wanna talk to therapy but I didn't have$ for it nor does insurance cover it